Miles Meets World

And Finally...

2011-07-29T15:03:00.000-07:00

Some more cute photos and video from the summer:

Digging in the Garden

2011-07-29T14:49:00.000-07:00

My husband was also productive this summer. Mostly, he was working on his online program (www.sonicfit.com), a music theory and ear training program, but he also dug up all the ugly stuff in the garden and planted pretty new flowers, an herb garden and tomatoes. We got a new gas grill and got rid of the small climber that Miles never used anymore. Miles had a great time getting in on the digging.

The Summer of Ignored Promises and Other Ways of Being Productive

2011-07-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of the summer, I swore that I would make full usage of my gym membership, blog more and get back to my love of cooking. Well, I did none of those things and yet I feel like the summer was a success. Instead, I got back to my love of rock climbing, cleaned out our garage and did a lot of bodywork (acupuncture and massage).

Miles was also a terrific reminder of so many fun things that I had put to the side when I got married and had a kid. He saw a video of scuba divers and wanted so much to be able to do that. I told him that he was too young as of now (he's not even really swimming yet) but that we would get some snorkeling equipment and he could do that. Getting him his own equipment inspired me to get out my old scuba gear. I showed him how to swim down with the snorkel and clear out his breathing tube. He really took to it and is very comfortable floating with his face in the water, breathing through the snorkel.

He has also shown interest in rock climbing. When we go anywhere that has an easily climbable rock, he is quick to want to scramble up. So I made plans with a rock climbing friend to take him to the gym and give him his first experience with all the gear. I'm really excited! I hope he loves it!

We had our first camping expedition to Big Basin Redwood State Park. Miles has been wanting to go camping since he first read "Fred and Ted Go Camping" over a year ago. We planned just one night so that if he liked it, we would leave him wanting more and, if he didn't like it, we wouldn't be tortured by an unhappy child. The results were fantastic. While he really didn't like the windy drive to the park, he loved the whole camping experience, including hiking/biking the trails, making a campfire, toasting marshmallows and wearing glow sticks at night. We are planning to go again before the summer is over, maybe even bringing along a friend and his family.

As we got to the park and were heading to the park headquarters to check in, something prompted Miles to say, "Mommy, I love you so much." Of course, I told him how much I loved him. This interchange was overheard by a woman walking by who turned and said, "Oh, that is so cute!" I could only nod my head. That's my boy.

Final Placement!

2011-06-06T10:07:00.000-07:00

Since I have been so remiss with posting, I see that I never mentioned Miles' IEP meeting with our school district. After all the assessments, which took forever to get done as everyone was on summer vacation, I got a phone call from the Special Ed. department letting me know that Miles was not going qualify for going to the county's hard of hearing preschool program. This was a moment of both joy and panic as it meant that he was doing so well that he didn't need the program but it also meant that we now had to scramble to find a preschool for him. Luckily, we were able to find a local program that we liked. We had to take three days a week until they had a full time spot open up but we were able to coordinate with our daycare provider from the year before.

The IEP meeting caused me no end of stress as it started with the determination of whether or not he even qualified for special ed. services. In my mind, I was screaming, "WHAT?!? Do you not see the hearing aids he wears in his ears??? Do you think we do this for fun???" But finally someone said that he would not be able to meet his full potential without support, so he qualified. Then the director told me that to receive speech services through the district, we would have to bring him to the school during school hours.

"Do you not understand that we are both teachers? How are we supposed to do that?"

Happily, the speech therapist that would be working with Miles said that she would arrange a way to come to his preschool to work with him there. And she has. Miles loves her and has made enormous progress.

While I'm pleased with how things turned out, I'm annoyed that they couldn't work out the details any earlier. When the whole process began, we asked that decisions be made earlier rather than later as Jeff and I had to be able to hit the ground running once the school year began.

All in all, Miles is thrilled with his new school, he is making lots of hearing friends and is doing great!

Been so long...

2011-06-04T16:28:00.000-07:00

A friend commented that I've been off the blogging wagon. True enough.
I originally started this a blog to talk about the issues of raising a child who is hard of hearing but Miles has made such progress that it is almost a non-issue.

That is, if you don't count the trips to the audiologist, the worry over ear wax and ear infections, IEP's and inattentive Special Ed Departments. But, really, it has been smooth sailing. Miles is starting to be very aware of pronouncing his "s" sound and is working so hard. He is almost 95% intelligible by strangers and his vocabulary is coming along nicely.

So I guess now I get to turn this into another blog about how wonderful my family is.

I have been surprised by how much of a boy Miles is turning into. These days, he is all about setting things on fire and putting them out, making things explode and shoot out. We recently went to a birthday party at Pump It Up (a party venue that has inflatable jumpy houses, slides and other entertainment.) While the girls were all about the slides, the boys were all about these air cannons that were there. The cannons were air powered and shot out these Nerf type balls that wouldn't cause any damage if one were hit. Miles would have spent the entire two hours in there. We finally convinced him to give the slides a try and, after some trepidation, he was hooked.

He is also all about the roller coasters. We went to Disneyland this spring and he made his mama's heart sing by taking quickly to the "big" roller coasters. Now that he is 40 inches tall, he can ride on Thunder Mountain and Space Mountain. He had no fear. I was amused to see that it was rides like Roger Rabbit that freaked him out.

But he is also his daddy's boy. We went to see Jeff conduct a local choir recently and it was the first time in awhile that Miles got to see his daddy in action. Miles was really impressed and surprised me by being a great audience member through a full hour of performance. When we got home, he wanted me to conduct him singing and then wanted to switch roles. When Jeff arrived home, Miles wanted to try on Jeff's tuxedo.

My Most Wonderful Husband

2010-07-18T15:00:00.000-07:00

Right around the Fourth of July, Jeff was going to take Miles to the farmer's market. As they got ready to go, Miles pulled out his hearing aids, telling Jeff, "I want to be like you, I want to be like you."

Hearing this just about broke my heart. But Jeff didn't skip a beat.

"You are just like me. You look just like me. You love music like I do. You have blond hair like I do. But I wear glasses and you wear hearing aids."

I love that man more and more each day.

Here I Am!

2010-07-18T14:47:00.000-07:00

I have been very remiss in my blogging. It must mean that life is getting good. Or just very busy.
In April, my brother came into town. He lives in Hong Kong and the last time I saw him, my father was dying. Before this trip, he and his wife had yet to meet Miles. That gives you an idea on how long ago it was. He came to the Bay to run in the Big Sur International Marathon.

We met up with Evan on Thursday when he came to our house for dinner. Miles and I met him in the driveway where he proceeded to become one of Miles' favorite people by giving him a present, a colorful octopus from Sri Lanka (my brother travels the world). Miles showed off his biking skills by riding down to the park and then impressed Evan with his strong throwing arm by tossing back some softballs from the girls practicing on the baseball fields. Evan secured his position as "great uncle" by throwing Miles around and tickling him until he was red in the face.

We got to see both Evan and Cheryl again on Saturday when we drove down to Carmel where they were staying for the marathon the following day. Miles was thrilled to go to the beach, though it wasn't as warm as the day we went to Santa Cruz. We walked on the shore, explored the pretty downtown and then went to Point Lobos for a hike and some baby harbor seal watching. The mamas were out having their pups and warming themselves in the sun.

On our way home, we stopped in Santa Cruz at a Mexican restaurant we have been to with friends. There was a table of women next to us who, by their conversation, were obviously teachers. As they got up to leave they stopped to fawn over Miles. One commented on his hearing aids and said that she was a teacher at a school that had deaf and hard of hearing program. I asked her which one. She said, "Oh, it's in Santa Clara," which made me ask again, "Which one?" When she told me the name of her school, I said, "That's the school we're hopefully going to send him to for preschool." Of course, that set off a long conversation about the program and how wonderful the teachers are.

As a side note, Miles' Early Start teacher had to be a little aggressive to get the assessment process into play. I'm hoping we don't get closed out but they are sending someone to begin the evaluations in about two weeks. Space in this program is surprisingly limited.

We went to see the ENT at the end of April as Miles was showing fluid in one of his ears again. Both tubes were working their way out of his ears so we needed to do the whole process again. While we were there, I mentioned how loudly he snored and that he seemed to always have a runny nose. "Ah, sounds like adenoids. We could do the scope but we might as well just do it while he's out during the surgery."

Mid-May, we went to Lucille Packard Children's Hospital where Miles got himself a new pair of ear tubes and was unburdened of his abnormally large adenoids. He now sleeps silently and there is no sign of snot!

Mama's Boy turns into Daddy's Boy

2010-04-09T10:58:00.000-07:00

Miles has always been a mama's boy. For the first months, he got all his nourishment from me so this made complete sense. We started to notice that Miles believed that Daddy was for fun and Mommy was for comfort. Then there came a time when Jeff would go to attend to Miles' needs and he would send him away, wanting me. He would want me to carry him even if Jeff offered to, he would want to hold my hand or sit in my lap, even if Jeff was there.

But there is a new shift in his personality. Two days ago, as we all got home from work and daycare, I watched Miles follow after Jeff as we marched around to the front of the house. Jeff absentmindedly pulled a piece of ivy leaf off the fence as he walked. Miles, walking behind him, did the exact same thing, imitating his daddy.

Later in the evening, Jeff was using the electric drill/screwdriver to get some screws out of a piece of wood and, of course, Miles wanted to watch. Jeff warned him not to get too close as the drill could be dangerous and showed him where he had cut his finger. As we went upstairs to get ready for bed, Miles went straight to his little tool kit, got out the drill, and started "working" on his crib. Then he showed me his "ouwie" where he too "cut himself with the drill."

The funniest thing is that Miles is now starting to make the distinction between boys and girls. He knows that he has a penis and daddy has a penis. The other day he asked me if I had one. So begins the birds and the bees conversations...

Hearing test

2010-03-31T11:49:00.000-07:00

We went for Miles' mid-year hearing test today. His hearing is generally stable but he has some fluid in his right ear which knocks that ear from mild-moderate to moderate-severe. The tubes we had put in last year in February are starting to come out, the right one may be completely out, so now we have to go through the whole process again; ENT then possibly another tube surgery.
We also had his first transition meeting for preschool yesterday. We are pushing for an oral/auditory program they have in Santa Clara but we'll have to see if there is room. I'm willing to consider other options but everyone involved has agreed that the district's special education preschool would be inappropriate for Miles.

Moments of Spontaneity

2010-03-30T16:00:00.000-07:00

Some of the best moments in my life have been spontaneous; moments of little planning and big exploration or learning or discovery.

Jeff's 40th birthday was last Sunday. I had tried to press him into some kind of celebration. Dinner with friends? A party? But, while he wanted to mark the occasion, he didn't really want to make a big deal of it. So I was very pleased when he woke up Sunday and said, "I want to go to the beach. Miles, you want to go to the ocean?"
And, of course, Miles was game.

We packed up what we thought we would need and headed south to Santa Cruz. Equipped with stroller, sunscreen, a little food and drink, bathing suits and a credit card, we set off, not quite sure where we were headed except to the ocean.

It was a marvelous day, sunny, not too hot but definitely warm. When we got there, we followed the crowd to the Boardwalk and checked out the rides that would be appropriate for Miles. But when he saw the ocean, Miles knew what he wanted to do. We headed down to the beach, took off our shoes and headed into the ocean to get our feet wet. At first, Miles was unsure that he really wanted to get wet. After a few times of dipping in his toes as the waves rolled in, he was ready to change into his bathing suit and get in. He had a great time running in and out of the waves with Jeff and there was a lot of laughing and splashing. As we got wet in the ocean, we walked along the beach towards the pier. It was about lunch time so we made it onto the pier and looked for a place where we could grab a quick seafood lunch. We ate outside in the sun and then got Miles in the stroller for a little snooze.

We walked up the hill to where we could watch the surfers while Miles slept. When he woke, we continued up the coast to where there was a paddleboard competition. Then we headed back down the hill to the Boardwalk where Miles got a chance to pilot his own helicopter. I wasn't sure that he was going to be happy having to ride on his own but he was smiling ear to ear as he figured out how to make the helicopter go up into the air.

With all areas of fun covered, we headed home for dinner. Miles took a bath, we ate leftovers for dinner and then finalized Jeff's birthday with some cake and a candle. It was one of those days that I will hold dear for a long time.

Miles and the Firefighters

2010-03-24T15:43:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday we were looking for something fun to do so we decided to have a picnic dinner in the park. We rode our bicycles down to a local park then Jeff went to pick up some food to eat while we were there. During our time at the park, a few firetrucks went by with lights flashing and Miles went running after them, so excited to see the trucks in action.

As time went on and the sun began to set, we decided it was getting cold and dark so we should head for home. We started getting back on our bicycles and Jeff and Miles were ready to go before I was. As I was putting on my helmet and rolling up my jeans, the trucks were heading back in the other direction, lights off now. Jeff asked if it was OK with me that they zoom off ahead to see if they could watch the trucks pulling into the station, only a few blocks away.

When I caught up to them at the station, the trucks were back and the guys were outside, talking with a firefighter who invited us in to see the station and get on the truck. To our surprise, Miles said that he didn't want to (I think he was a little overwhelmed by the idea). The firefighter suggested that we come back in the morning when it was warmer and Miles had gotten some sleep, promising that whoever was there would be happy to show us around and let us take some pictures.

We got a few blocks away and, of course, Miles changed his mind and wanted to go back so we talked him through what would happen the following day. We were surprised he went to sleep, he was so excited.

But the following day came, and after doing a bit of grocery shopping, we rode our bicycles back to the fire station where two of the nicest guys showed us the different trucks and engines, showed Miles the equipment that firefighters wear during a fire and talked with us for awhile about how they do their shifts. They gave him a new helmet, a few stickers and a coloring book. We are all huge fans of the fire department!
Here are some videos of the day:

My sweet husband

2010-02-12T12:20:00.000-08:00

Jeff is not one for big displays of romanticism so this really caught me off guard.
Last Tuesday, Jeff had a fund raising event at a local restaurant called Armadillo Willy's. They give 20% of the proceeds to the choir program. A number of choir families and girls from the choir were there to have dinner. I wasn't looking forward to it because these things usually turn into a hectic dinner for me, chasing Miles around, trying to keep him out of trouble.
But Jeff didn't need to do too much shmoozing and we were able to have dinner as a family.
Somewhere towards the end of dinner, one of the girls from his choir approached our table with a gift bag and a lovely note. The note itself got me teary but then I realized that the girls were all circling around and were about to sing to me.
I barely controlled myself from becoming a crying mess as they sang a wonderful sweet love song. (Jeff asked me if I thought the girls did a nice job and, truly, I can't remember because I was just trying to keep it together.)
Miles was confused by all the hubbub but thought it was pretty neat and I think Jeff and his choir were pleased with themselves for reducing me to tears.

Music, Music Everywhere

2010-01-24T21:27:00.000-08:00

Miles is definitely his father's son. He is showing so much interest in all things musical.

In the above video, Miles performs an original composition for which he wrote both the words and the music.

Miles plays the "Rainy Day, I've Got a Cold Blues." Watch out, Bob Dylan.

Miles and his dad compose on bass and acoustic guitar.

Ratting out Daddy

2010-01-07T14:14:00.001-08:00

Jeff has been having a stressful week. He has a presentation tomorrow, grades due, work to finish on his website before the presentation, etc. I mention this so you don't judge him too harshly.

Yesterday, I was home from work when I heard the car pull into the driveway. Jeff had picked Miles up from daycare and I went downstairs to greet them. Miles was still playing in the car when I went into the garage and I noticed he wasn't wearing any shoes.

"Where are your shoes?" I asked.

"At home!" he answered with a grin.

"At home?"

"In house!" he gleefully explained.

I couldn't figure out what he was talking about.

Later, Jeff was running down the trials and tribulations of his day. "Shall I list for you all the things I forgot today?" he asked.

"Miles' shoes?" I guessed.

"How'd you know?!"

Your son ratted you out, buddy. Gotta be careful now that he has the language to tell what really happened.

Removing Lists

2009-12-26T22:05:00.001-08:00

I am happy to announce that I have removed the lists of words Miles can say and sign. I did a little exercise of listing every word I can remember him using, unprompted, and it tallies up to over 500 words. So I'm letting go of the lists.

A couple of cute stories

2009-11-24T20:28:00.000-08:00

I went with Miles to school this morning. He's got a little cold so has been a bit under the weather. As we were leaving school, we were heading out with one of his friends, Esteban, who was headed towards the bus. Miles fell behind and Esteban reached up to take my hand. When Miles saw this, he complained loudly. He was like a jealous lover. Even when I offered my other hand, he was so offended that he refused. He made the point of letting everyone know that I was his mommy.

When we got home, he was interested in playing a little tee ball. He got out his bat and tee along with a bucket of balls we have for such things. He was taking the balls out, one by one, to place them on the tee and hit them. At one point, he put a ball on the tee and, before he could hit it, got distracted. He forgot and reached into the bucket for another ball. As he turned to place the second ball on the tee, he saw the first one and said to the second, "Wait your turn!" Once he hit the ball already on the tee, he said, "Your turn!" and put the second ball up there to be hit. He's learned his turn taking well.

Miles woos the ladies

2009-11-20T11:11:00.000-08:00

Miles is getting kisses. I knew this day would come, I just didn't expect it so soon!

Frustration

2009-11-05T10:13:00.000-08:00

OK, I'm mostly writing this to get sympathy and maybe some suggestions from other HOH parents out there.
I'm feeling some major frustration with the audiologist we are working with. I adore her and she is awesome with Miles but trying to schedule time with her is awful! We set up appointments almost 4 months in advance only to find out that she has meetings on both days we scheduled and now has to change them. Since we are now only looking at two months in advance, we can't find any time before March!!! I only work three days a week so one would imagine that we could find something on the days when I'm off but she doesn't work on Mondays, and Tuesdays are when she has her meetings. I'm seriously considering switching audiologists if not switching practices altogether but this is the only place in the entire Bay Area that focuses on children. Arrgh!!!

Episode 50 in which mama earns a medical degree

2009-10-12T15:39:00.000-07:00

I had to take Miles to Urgent Care on Thursday night because he came home from daycare with goo running out of his ear again. I knew this was coming. I saw it building with my otoscope but also knew that I would have to wait until it got yucky to bring him to the doctor. When there, I presented all the information to the urgent care doc and said, "Do you think I might be able to call in the symptoms next time this happens so I don't have to spend $20 and countless hours coming in to be told what I already know?"
The doc said that all made sense to her and was willing to write me a prescription with refills, seeing as how we have the otoscope and are obviously knowledgeable about what to look for. However, she's not my regular pediatrician so we'll have to see what she says.
Who knew I'd become such an expert on ear infections?

Are we ready to play?

2009-10-12T14:28:00.000-07:00

When Miles was first born, Jeff was a little disappointed that he was just a blob. He asked me when Miles would be ready to "play." As evidenced by these videos, I would say that time is now.

Musical Genius

2009-09-27T16:20:00.000-07:00

A John Cage-like composition by father and son.

Miles turns two!

2009-09-27T15:27:00.000-07:00

This happened about a month ago so it's kind of shameful that it has taken me this long to post pictures and whatnot. But it was a month long festival of events. As it should be, for such a delicious and sweet boy as this!

On his actual birthday, his dad and I fed his train obsession by biking down to the train station, taking the local light rail into San Jose, biking around the city and then taking Caltrain back north. He was so happy. It took us almost an hour to get to San Jose but he was as content as could be, looking out the window, smiling at all the people who came on and off the train. We found the bike trail that runs along the river in SJ and biked around until we came to a park that had fountains for playing in. Then off to Caltrain and home in time for a nap.
The day was finished nicely as it was one of those incredibly hot days, an anomaly for Northern CA. We went to the pool in our complex and there was another family there, celebrating the birthdays of both their sons. We were encouraged to come in and get food and drink. They had a bouncy house in the back of the cabana. Miles went in happily for the first time ever and eventually went down the slide.

The following day we opened presents and he got to have his birthday cupcake with candle (he refers to such treats as "happy cake."

The following Monday, his daycare provider had a little party for him at the end of the day. More "happy cake."

Two weeks later it was my birthday and, since it was his father's Back-to-School night at work, he and I celebrated with dinner and cupcakes from Safeway. More "happy cake."

Next, we had a 2 x 20 birthday party to celebrate the two milestone birthdays (and the wonderful coincidence of the math.) More "happy cake," swimming and presents.

And finally, the day after, we had a group birthday for all the kids in his playgroup.

From now on, I think he will be very disappointed if the birthday celebration does not go on for multiple weeks.

Miles is off to school!

2009-09-22T17:20:00.000-07:00

My big boy is off to school on the school bus. He has been going to the Early Start program in Santa Clara since the beginning of the summer and had started up again with me taking him there and bringing him back. But now, he is taking the bus once a week. It comes to our house, takes him to school and then brings him to daycare after the day is over.
Yesterday was the first time he got picked up at home and did the whole day without me. He was very excited about going on the bus but when he realized that I was going to leave, he gave me a look that said, "Are you sure about this?" His teachers report that he got to school with nothing but smiles, had a great day (though another DAMN runny nose), and our daycare person reported that he was all smiles when he got to her and, amazingly enough, was still awake. School takes a lot out of him.
I went with him today which was nice for him but certainly not as exciting as going on the bus.

A Little Summer Goes a Long Way

2009-08-12T19:58:00.000-07:00

Summer has been great. I love not working and having time to be with Miles, having some time to myself and paying attention to the smaller things.

Miles started his Early Start program here in Santa Clara County. We were given the choice of the auditory/oral class, where they only speak to the children, and the total communication class, where they speak and sign. I guess I knew this was a controversial issue but I had no idea just how loaded it was. When I visited the two classes in the spring, I chose the oral class because the children in the class had the strongest oral skills and I wanted Miles to have those good models. But once we had been there for a week or two, the teacher told me that, come fall, I wouldn't be able to sign to Miles while in the class. Not that she has any problem with it, but she explained there were major legal battles over the issue. She then suggested that I check out the TC class.

As was the case in the spring, the children there had little in the way of oral skills. But, I was reminded, there will be many changes in clientele in the fall and things may change radically. So it came down to my own philosophy of what I believe is best for Miles. I chose the signing class. I'm sure I will hear from many of the HOH community, but I chose based on what we do at home including what I know as an educator- children learn best when they are presented with multiple modalities for learning. Also, he will only be at school for six hours a week so he will have plenty of time with strong oral models at all the other hours of his week, especially with his parents.

Will all choices of his education be so fraught?

Meanwhile, we spent the summer perfecting the "staycation" concept. Miles has become completely obsessed with trains so last Saturday we biked down to the local train station, took the train a few stops, biked to some local parks, took the train home again and biked back. He was totally amazed that you could actually go inside the train.

The grandparents came to visit for a week plus a few days after a trip to Oregon. It was really nice for Miles to spend more time with them as we are so far away. Plus, it meant that Jeff and I were able to go on a few date nights. Always good for the marriage. We spent plenty of time in the complex's pool and got some cute video and photos.

Early in the summer, my husband totaled his bicycle, luckily without any damage to himself. It then necessitated him purchasing a new bicycle. He was so tickeld with it that we then bought one for me. Since then, we have had all sorts of family bicycle outings and I have taken my bike out for a few long rides all by myself. It's nice to have a new physical outlet that challenges me and gets me outdoors.

Back to school soon- I'm trying to pack in as much as possible in the short time left.

After all the sadness of this past year, it can be hard to feel grateful. I recently heard a segment on NPR about a man who went from praying for things, to praying to get out of jams and finally, after a bad motorcycle accident, went to a prayer that goes like this: "Thank you, thank you, thank you for this life."
I am tapping into the gratitude for fresh food from the farmers' market, trips out with my family, the sunshine that warms the tomato plants, the crisp green leaves against the crisp blue sky. It fills my heart and keeps me from despair.

Sign Language Club

2009-06-05T21:34:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to get a few extra bucks, I did a sign language club with students from my school this year. They learned "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" in sign language and performed it for the school at the annual talent show.
Check out the video!

Miles learns to play tee ball

2009-05-18T20:18:00.000-07:00

It is girls' softball season around here and when we take Miles to the park, he has become very interested in watching the girls of all ages playing softball. He knows to clap when a good play has been made and he has learned to squat like a catcher. He likes to stand right up near the fence so he has a really good view.

The other night we noticed that he was chasing a ball around with a stick and Jeff thought he might be playing "hockey." But eventually we figured out that he was trying to play baseball like the big girls he had seen at the park. Jeff rigged up a tee using a tube from one of my vacuum cleaners and found a long cardboard tube to use as a bat. See the video below to witness the final results. We've since bought him a real whiffle ball and bat. Next is the tee so he can play for real.

Amazing Miles

2009-04-23T21:17:00.000-07:00

Here is a wonderful and amazing Miles story:

He was at daycare and everyone was outside playing in our daycare lady's backyard. One of the other children was just arriving to school and having a hard time of it. She sat down at the beginning of the walkway to the backyard and cried. The provider encouraged her mom to just come into the backyard, expecting that the little girl would follow after a moment or two.
Miles heard her crying, left the playhouse and walked to where she was sitting. He began talking to her, which made her stop crying, and then offered his hand to her. She took it and then joined everyone in the backyard!

Beyond being the sweetest story ever, I was amazed to hear that my boy was so adept at empathy. I expect he will accomplish great things.

Spring Break and Great America

2009-04-13T20:48:00.000-07:00

I had a week off which was much needed. Unfortunately, much of it was spent dealing with a sick baby. Miles has had a crazy awful cold. He came down with fever the Thursday before my break and I took off half of Friday to be at home with him. The fever went away after two or three days but I got a call on Wednesday from his daycare telling me that he had thrown up. I went to get him and Leila told me that he had woken up from his nap with ear wax down his cheek. I knew he had an ear infection and that we were going to have to make another trip to the doctor. He's now on oral antibiotics and ear drops but his ears still look horrible.

On Saturday, Jeff's choir sang at Great America, a local amusement park. We met everyone at 9 am and the park opened at 10. They set up, warmed up and then the choirs sang their pieces. During the warm up, I let Miles run around the roped off area and he walked right up in front of the group as if he was going to conduct them. It was adorable.

Surprisingly, there were lots of rides for him to go on. They have two areas specially designed for the toddler set and we took him on all the appropriate rides. It was his first real experience with rides and he loved it. There were a number of "car" type rides that went around in circles. He also loved the toddler sized carousel where he got to ride on a "train." A few of the rides went slowly into the air and he seemed just fine with that. It was a full day but he had a great time. Jeff and I even had some time to go on adult rides while Miles spent some quality time with our friend Vicki.

My dancing boy

2009-04-03T20:57:00.000-07:00

We've just returned from a fundraiser for Jeff's district. It was a crab feed/auction dinner where they had all-you-can-eat crab, salad and dessert plus drinks you can buy for cheap. They had a rock band going during dinner. They were a fun band playing classic rock from the Beatles and the Doors to U2 and the Police. There was some Tom Jones and Marvin Gaye thrown in there for good measure.

What made the night memorable was the fact that once we were done eating and Miles was getting a little antsy, we got up with him and, rather than walking outside or playing with the toys I brought to keep him entertained, Miles wanted to dance. I was astounded by the sophistication he showed in dancing to the songs and stopping as they made their transition to the next tune. He also clapped for the band between songs. Miles got quite a bit of attention and there were a number of ladies who wanted to be his dance partner.

My son has enough personality to share with many other children and still be a complete charmer. He was too cute!

My singing boy

2009-03-29T21:37:00.000-07:00

Miles has begun to sing. Sometimes the songs are recognizable. He can sound out an interesting approximation of the Alphabet Song. I know when he's trying to sing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" because he does the hand motions. But today, I heard him chanting something that sounded like "Ahseh, ahseh, all... Dahn!"

Knowing that he says "all done" I figured this is what he was saying. But he kept chanting the line over and over. Then I realized what he was getting at; he was singing "Ring Around the Rosie." Jeff shook his head over the first recognizable song being about smallpox. Go figure.

Sometimes his singing will be an amalgamation of all the songs he knows and it sounds like he is just composing his own. It's not bad, either. He obviously has his daddy's musical genes.

In this way, he's also starting to "count." When we heat up his bottle in the microwave, we count down the seconds. He has begun imitating the tone and approximating the sound of the numbers. Smart baby!

Language Development Despite Ear Infections

2009-03-23T21:49:00.000-07:00

This is the time of a toddler's life where language just explodes. Even a little guy with hearing problems like Miles starts picking it up left and right. It's amazing- the desire to imitate takes over and he just picks up everything we say and everything we do. Everyday there is a new word or new sign or new discovery. It's so much fun.

The other day we picked him up from daycare, gave him dinner and got him ready for his bath. As we took out his hearing aids, I saw that there was a yellowish goo in the tubing of his aids and then realized that the tubes in his ears were doing their job. He had developed the beginning of an infection and the discharge left his inner ear and flowed right up into the tubes of his aids. Yuck. A visit to the doctor and a few days of drops and he is doing much better.

Miles has discovered technology. We can no longer work on the computer while he is awake because he wants to play with it. He loves the telephone and has long "conversations" on anything that even looks like a phone. He has also discovered the DVD player. He isn't really interested in watching the TV (though he does enjoy a Baby Einstein video now and again.) He just likes opening and closing it, putting in new disks and pushing the buttons. He also really enjoys our cameras but it makes taking photos of him difficult as, whenever he sees the camera, he wants to play with it. So we don't have too many photos of him at this phase in his life. However, I'll add a few ranging from about December to now. One of the more recent ones, I had to sneak up on him and use the telephoto lens. As soon as he realized he was being photographed, he started coming after me!

You can just imagine the caption for this one!

New, new, new

2009-03-14T15:12:00.000-07:00

So we are in our new home. We're still up to our ears in boxes but that will decline dramatically once spring break comes along.
Miles is now going to a new daycare. This place is a very small daycare facility run by a young woman out of her home. She only takes a maximum of four children on any one day. Most of the other children are younger than Miles but one is just a bit older. Our daycare lady commented that when the older child is there, Miles acts like a "big boy." When he is surrounded by the babies, he is whiny and clingy. This is a bad omen for a future baby in our family!
One thing Miles has learned from this older boy is to say "uh-oh." He uses it appropriately (like when he drops the yogurt container on the floor) but he also just likes to say it. The other night I had put him in his crib for bedtime and turned the monitor on in the kitchen. I heard him cooing to his teddy bear, singing to himself and listening to his music. Then he starts saying, "Uh-oh, uh-oh." I knew he was just practicing but I certainly stopped short thinking, "Hmm, should I go up and check on him? What's he saying 'uh-oh' about?"
Very cute.
The words are coming fast and furious. Though as I say this, I also laugh about this past week's situation. I made a very concerted effort to get started with Early Start in Santa Clara County as soon as possible. We met up with one of their teachers last Tuesday. I was trying to get Miles to perform for her, to show her signs that he knew or to say words that he knew. Jeff likens it to the cartoon with the singing and dancing frog who will only perform for his owner.
So, trust me. He is starting to talk! Check out the list of words and signs on the side of the blog.

This I Believe

2009-02-11T14:49:00.000-08:00

In a fight, Love will kick Death's ass each and every time.

So many changes, so much to do.

2009-02-09T17:20:00.000-08:00

We are healing slowly, bit by bit every day. I no longer cry everyday. I am going to a support group for those who have lost babies. I am back at work. And I miss Izabelle terribly.
How is it possible to miss someone you have not even met?

And still, life goes on. Miles is the light in all the darkness. He is my cheerful little boo, a total charmer. He came with Jeff and me to my school winter party and flirted with all the teachers. He played and laughed and had a great time, even though he was up way past his bedtime.

Last Thursday he had tubes put in his ears. He has had fluid for awhile now and I think this is really going to help him. At his yearly IFSP, Nikki noted that he is at age benchmarks or beyond in everything except expressive language. And yet he babbles up a storm. It will be amazing when all that talk is actual language.
The tubes went smoothly. Jeff and I were both overanxious after having lost Izabelle. I was very much on edge when he had to have general anesthesia for his ABR at six months but I was almost as anxious this time around. Jeff asked me to call him as soon as the surgery was done and didn't even make it that long before calling.
Miles was like Curious George when the monkey goes to the hospital. All the other kids were nervous and sad. He was clowning around, flirting with a little girl in the waiting room and making everyone smile. It took a long time for them to finally come get him for the procedure but the actual operation took about 30 minutes from when they took him from me until the time I could go be with him. He was kind of cranky until he was awake enough to take a bottle. Then he came to and we made it home in time for another bottle and a three hour nap.
I think the worst part (for him, at least) was the drops we had to put in his ears afterwards. It took the full three days for him to learn that they didn't hurt. Now that we don't have to use them anymore he wants them in his ears. Silly boy...

We're buying a house. A townhouse, actually. It's got 4 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms and closets! The closing date is this Thursday and moving day is the following Tuesday. It's very exciting but stressful as well. One thing we'll have to do is transfer Miles' services for Early Start as we'll be moving to a new county. I'm not looking forward to it. And then there is the actual moving. We're trying to pack when Miles naps. We obviously haven't gotten much done. My mother is coming soon to watch him while we work. Hopefully we'll be ready!

Tragedy

2009-01-12T12:43:00.000-08:00

I went in for an ultrasound scan on Friday to find that Izabelle's heart had stopped beating. I had suspected as much. I had a minor complication with amniotic separation 4 weeks before and was very scared that this would affect the baby. I stopped rock climbing and modified my activities so I wasn't doing as much lifting and carrying. After we came back from Florida and I had started back to work, I had noticed that Izzy wasn't moving very much. I worried about it and rationalized it. So when the technician told me that they couldn't see a heartbeat, I was devastated but not very surprised.

Jeff was at the house we hope to buy, meeting with the inspectors, when I called from the doctor's office. He left immediately to meet me at home. We cried together and waited for my OB to call. Because I was so far along with the pregnancy, I had to deliver her. We checked into the hospital at about noon and, after taking some blood and starting an IV, they gave me some cytotec to start ripening my cervix for labor. If the contractions didn't start on their own, they would have broken the amniotic sac and given me some pitocin.

When these terrible things happen, there are always the bright spots that allow you to see all that is good and joyful in life. I had e-mailed my playgroup moms and told them what was happening. I asked that if they were available that they come to the hospital and hold my hand. I also called Leeann, my college roommate and dear friend. They all came to help. And they gave me exactly what I needed; people to cry with and people to laugh with and most of all, some distraction. They brought flowers and chocolate and magazines and movies. They arranged a schedule to take care of Miles while Jeff and I were in the hospital and a schedule of people to bring food so we wouldn't have to plan dinners. I am so grateful for these wonderful women who came to my aid and helped us through.

It took well into the evening before I was getting any significant contractions. I was exhausted and knew that I was not going to be able to sleep so they gave me a shot of morphine and some other drug and this helped stave off the pain and let me sleep for a few hours. Somewhere around 2 am, the contractions started for real. The night nurse gave me another kind of drug through my IV and, while that made me loopy, it didn't dull the pain. I asked for the epidural but by the time the anesthesiologist got there, I was ready to birth her. Izabelle Rhea Blanco was born at 2:37 am on Jan. 10, 2009.

We held her and cried and talked to her and cried. The hospital encouraged us to take photos to put in a memory box that they provide under such circumstances. They also put in a hat and blanket they photographed her in and a little stuffed heart along with a journal for us to put down thoughts and feelings. We put in the only outfit that I bought for her and will put in some of her ashes when we get them.

We have scheduled a ceremony for her on Jan. 18. We will scatter her ashes at Fort Funston into the ocean.

Fun in Florida

2009-01-02T20:06:00.000-08:00

To keep himself entertained, Miles discovered two unique things in his grandmother's kitchen. The first was a set of drawers that contained pots in one drawer, lids in another and hot pads in a third. He began to use the hot pads to pick the lids up from the pots like mom and dad do when they are cooking. Smart boy!
The second thing he discovered was the cereal closet. He began by removing all the boxes of cereal and standing on them like he does with his books at home. Then, when he discovered the adults weren't too keen on him standing on the boxes, he would clear the top shelf and climb into it. Then he discovered that he could close the cabinet doors and play peek-a-boo with whomever was on the other side.
Another cute thing: We were driving in the car to see Harry and Kristen and Clovis. Miles was in the back in his car seat, babbling away to himself as he often does. Suddenly, he lets out a peal of laughter and Jeff said, "I love it when he tells himself a funny joke." Later, as the adults were sitting around and I recalled this event, Jeff pointed out Miles' model- we talk and then we laugh, we talk and then we laugh. He gets it!
I have a 2 1/2 min. video of him playing with the pots but it is taking forever to get up here. If I can post it, I will.

Christmas in Florida

2009-01-02T19:36:00.000-08:00

We spent our holiday in Florida visiting with Jeff's friends and family. My mom flew down from New York for a few days which was really nice. Miles dealt very well with the plane ride out and flirted with anyone available. He also did quite well with the huge hordes of people who descended upon Lorraine's house to meet him. We got to see Harry, Kristen and Clovis for awhile. Miles decided that he didn't really want a big sister who was going to tell him what to do but he doesn't think he'll mind a little sister who he can push around.
My mom came on Friday afternoon and Saturday we had a huge gathering with Steve Miles, one of Miles' namesakes, Libby and Eric and their two daughters, Zoe and Quinn, my mom and Jeff's parents. Later Uncle Ted and Aunt Cathy showed up to coo over Miles. Cathy and Miles created a lovely bond.
On Tuesday we had more visitors as Jeff's aunt, uncle and cousin came to visit and then we were joined by more friends, Bob and Kathy. Through the week, Miles met various people around the neighborhood, one who gave Miles a wonderful little bear who he fell instantly in love with.
The trip back was a little more difficult as we left in the afternoon Florida time and didn't get back until quite late even by West Coast standards. He fell asleep for small naps on the plane but wasn't really rested. He fell asleep on the shuttle home and was not happy when I woke him to change his diaper and get him into his PJ's.
The major news from this trip is that Miles finally started walking. We knew he was getting close and he would walk everywhere as long as he had some support. But gradually over the week he gained more and more confidence and began taking longer and longer forays on his own power. We were all very impressed! He's kept it up now that we are home. I'm in for it now!
All the relatives commented on how well he is babbling and signing. He's really thriving.

Welcome to Holland

2008-12-31T07:31:00.001-08:00

I found this essay on a blog at Deaf Village and thought I would post it here to get more exposure. I thought it summed things up beautifully. We are often asked about Miles' hearing aids on the playground and when we inform people of Miles' permanent hearing impairment, there are often comments like, "Wow, that must be hard." Well, yes, and no. It's like- going to Holland. Enjoy.

Welcome to Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this...
When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip—to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”
”Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”
But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
Its just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away ... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

©1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.

Deaf Village

2008-12-22T09:34:00.000-08:00

We are now listed as contributors to Deaf Village (www.deafvillage.com) which also has many other blogs from individuals and parents of individuals who are deaf, with cochlear implants and hard of hearing like Miles. It's an interesting survey of the deaf and hard of hearing community. Check it out!

Miles' 15 month check up

2008-12-15T19:58:00.000-08:00

Well, there have been a few interesting developments since Miles' last check up. He is now 32.75 inches tall, and 23.5 lbs. That puts him in the 90th percentile for height (pretty steady) but he's dropped to the 36th percentile in weight. He's been a little sick as of late so that may account for it. Also, we're thinking he's allergic to peanuts. Right before Thanksgiving, I gave him just the slightest bit of my toast that had some peanut butter on it. First he got all snotty and then started getting blotchy all over his body. About 15 minutes later he threw up. The doc said to just keep him away from it, maybe go see the allergist to do a whole panel. Everyone agrees that he's doing very well even though he's not walking yet. It's just a matter of time. Give him a push toy and he'll walk for miles but he still needs the assurance of something to hold on to.

The nurse who gave him his shots said the doctor came out of the examining room and told her, "You're going to have a hard time with this one."

"Why?" she asked. "Is he a real handful?"

"No," he replied, "but he's so cute you're not going to be able to bring yourself to give him the shots."

Miles is starting to say many approximations of words and do many different signs.

He uses "da-da" consistently to mean Daddy, teddy bear and ball, though he'll say da-da for lots of things.

He now calls me "ma-ma."

He says "baba" for bottle and signs for milk.

He says "ca" for car and "sheeze" for cheese. He can also approximate saying cracker.

I'm pretty impressed with his receptive language. I feel like the signing and the verbal words are coming super quick now, like he finally understands that all these objects have names and he's determined to learn them all.

Right after Miles had his vomit session from the peanut butter, I took him to Early Start for the first time in many months. He was unsure about where we were until we went to sit in circle time. Then his face lit up and he was so excited he could barely contain himself. He was so into being with all of his friends, singing songs, and playing with the parachute. When I came back after the parent rap session, he looked at me, waved and went right back to playing. He was not ready to go- the first time that every happened. If he keeps this up, he's going to be an uber-kindergartener. :)

Miles is going to be a big brother

2008-11-22T22:15:00.001-08:00

For those who don't know, Miles is going to have a little sister to terrorize come April. We are about 19 weeks pregnant with a healthy little girl (so say the amnio results). We're thrilled and so are the grandparents now that they have a little girl to buy pink for. I'll post updates as they become available.

Mmmm... the smell of baby

2008-11-22T22:08:00.000-08:00

I did something embarrassing but so lovely in its maternal nature last night.
Jeff was working late and I was alone with Miles for the second night in a row. It can be a very tiring experience and yet I love being the needed parent again. Miles has become very generous with the hugs lately and, when he needs comforting, I get a lot of love.
He had been wearing a cute little fleecy pull-over all afternoon while we were at the park and we had taken it off when we got home and were ready for some dinner. I had fed Miles and then put him to sleep. I was sitting alone in the kitchen when I noticed the fleece and picked it up to put it away. That's when I caught the very distinctive smell of Miles still entrapped in the fleece. I held it to my nose and breathed deep- a number of times.
I had just put him to bed and can't say that I was unhappy that he went off to sleep rather quickly. But having that baby smelling fleece near my face brought me so much joy, like I could breathe in his essence and keep him with me all the time.

Ruptured Eardrum

2008-10-19T21:30:00.000-07:00

Miles has had a cold for about two and a half weeks. He suddenly got a fever last weekend so we took him to the doctor. There was nothing to see so we were told to go back to the doctor if he still had the fever Tuesday. He did, so back to the doc we went. My usual doctor doesn't work on Tuesdays so I saw another doctor in the practice. He didn't see anything still, made me feel like an over protective mother and said that we should come back Thursday if Miles still had the fever. He woke up Thursday with a bloody discharge coming from his ear- he had ruptured an eardrum. The infection was awful, he's on heavy duty antibiotics and now he can't wear his hearing aids until the infection has cleared.
When Jeff brought Miles in on Thursday he saw our regular doctor who told him that ears can go from totally normal to terribly infected in hours so it's not that the doctor missed something. But I'm still angry. I feel that because of his hearing aids, Miles needs to be given special consideration when it comes to colds and infections. He is now going to miss out on about two weeks of language development, not to mention possible greater hearing loss.

Miles hasn't a _thing_ to wear...

2008-10-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

Magical Thinking

2008-09-22T20:45:00.000-07:00

Our nanny said something to me the other day that made me irrationally angry.
While I was picking Miles up (and coincidentally, he didn't have his hearing aids in) she told me that her faith tells her that once Miles has developed his speech, he won't need the hearing aids anymore.
This really bothered me and I had to think about why. In explaining it to Jeff I was able to put my finger on it.
It has taken me this long to accept that Miles will always need his hearing aids. Always. We went through plenty of denial- maybe the tests are wrong, maybe it really isn't that bad. And when I finally got to the point of accepting his impairment, and realizing on the grand scheme of things, it really isn't that bad, I really don't need someone messing up that acceptance. As I told Jeff, it's like someone finally accepting that they have a life threatening cancer and someone else saying, "You'll be all right. I've prayed for you."
Now, I have nothing against prayer. Anyone can do as much praying for Miles as they would like. But to tell me that they have faith that his hearing impairment will just vanish pisses me off. It denies my concerns for all that he needs- the language development, constant use of his hearing aids, sign language and all other ways that a caregiver needs to make modifications for a hearing impaired child.

The year 1 check up

2008-09-06T11:02:00.001-07:00

Miles went to the doctor on Wednesday.
Here's an example of how scattered I am- I show up Wednesday afternoon after leaving school about 20 minutes before the end of the day and about an hour before I really should (my students were in art class), to get to the doctor's office by 3 pm. The receptionist looked at her schedule and said, "Sorry, mom, it looks like the appointment is actually tomorrow." Yikes!
But they were able to fit me in anyway.
Miles is 31 inches long (80th percentile), 22 lbs. 8oz. (50th percentile) with a head circumference of 18.5 inches (75th percentile). He's so long, he's not really fitting into the 18-24 month old onesies we recently got for him- at least not with the cloth diapers.
Yikes!
He got three shots, which he handled like a really trooper, and we'll have to start the Hep B series next month. He's got the go ahead to start eating just about everything as long as he can chew it and it's not a choking hazard. Maybe we can bump up his weight percentile. :)

Miles is 1!

2008-09-02T20:34:00.001-07:00

Last Friday was Miles' first birthday. I was looking at pictures of him from when he was first born and he looks so different now. He is a real little boy now, playing hide and seek, laughing like crazy on the swings, climbing on everything. We weren't able to really celebrate on his birthday as Jeff and I had to work but we had a family day on Saturday which was great. We opened presents, went to the park, had some cake and spent all day together. It was fun and just what I was needing.

Here are some pics from the day:

Working Sucks

2008-08-26T21:48:00.000-07:00

I'm back to work now and every day I think, "What have I done? Why am I not at home taking care of my baby?"
The mornings are rushed, the evenings are rushed, there is precious little time to spend together as a family and worst of all, I don't think I'm doing a good job, either as a mother or as a teacher. I don't have sufficient time to plan and I don't have sufficient time to spend with Miles. I worry that he's not getting the speech development he needs or that the nanny isn't putting in his hearing aids enough. He cries when I drop him off in the morning which pulls on my very delicate mommy heart strings. I know he stops crying once I'm out of sight and that he likes Beatrice (our nanny) but I can't help but think that I should be the one staying with him, making sure he gets everything he needs. But this is good for him, right? The socialization, being cared for by someone other than mommy or daddy?

Sigh...

What I have learned about traveling with a baby

2008-08-14T21:40:00.000-07:00

Bring a change of clothes for the baby (of course) but also for you, your husband, the person in the seat next to you, possibly even the people in the rows in front and behind you.

Miles is a trooper. He smiled at everyone we encountered on the Super Shuttle, everyone in line at the airport, made friends with the TSA guy and charmed the flight attendants. But Jeff and I made a big mistake. We gave him too much to drink too early. When he drifted off to sleep soon after the flight took off, all was well. Then the flight staff came on over the loud speaker, woke him up and caused him to be just a bit off. Which then caused him to throw up every last drop of the formula he had drunk, most of it landing in my lap and down my cleavage. While I was able to change into Jeff's sweatshirt that only had a little puke on it, I could do nothing with my jeans so smelled wonderfully of baby vomit for the rest of the trip.

Check out the cleanliness of the floors of your hotel if you have a crawler. On second thought, you might want to avoid that as the results might terrify you.

So we stayed in a hotel in the general vicinity of where my mother lives on Long Island. We got there late the first night so there was little time for inspection. The following night Miles spit up some of his formula and, when we wiped it up with one of the towels, saw that rubbing the carpet had turned the towel BLACK- no exaggeration. We got a room change the following morning but the second room was not much better.

Enjoy the extended family.

I haven't seen many of my cousins since before Jeff and I were married and some even longer than that. My mother organized a big family reunion at my brother's house in Connecticut. It was a zoo and Miles was a bit overwhelmed but it was great to see all the family. It was very fun to watch Miles and James together. Griffin is still in the meatloaf phase but it was great to see him too.

Beware of feeding too many bananas to your baby.

While we were staying at the hotel, we took advantage of their free breakfast. It wasn't too bad though the options got a little boring after six days. We didn't bother to bring oatmeal for Miles and instead fed him food from the buffet including many bananas. At home, he might eat a bite or two of banana if we are eating some but the intake is limited. On the road, he would eat almost an entire banana by himself.

A few days after we had been at the hotel, my mother and I went shopping. The trip was cut a bit short when we received a call from Jeff stating, somewhat calmly, I must say, that Miles had worms. As you might imagine, we rushed back to my mom's apartment, took a look at the offending diaper to find small squiggly black things that looked like black fibers. At first my mother said, "Oh, maybe those are just some fibers from the hotel's carpet." But the diaper was totally infested with them. Miles would have to have eaten the entire floor to have that much in his diaper.

And off to the clinic we went. The doctor immediately diagnosed it as pinworms asking, "They're small white worms, right?" No, they're black. "Hmmm, well let's take a sample and send it to the lab." The results came back negative. Two days after leaving the hotel, all symptoms disappeared. So I started doing a bit of searching on the internet. On one forum, there were a few moms who talked about small black worm-like things in the babies' diapers. Turns out, the thing they all had in common was banana consumption. Ah ha!

Babies are ambassadors to the world.

New Yorkers are not exactly known for their friendliness. But if you want to meet some native New Yorkers, go to the city with a very cute baby. Even in my young, hot days, I never received the kind of reception Miles did as we walked around Central Park and rode the train and subway. It helps that he smiles at everyone in order to get a reaction. He's persistent, too. He charmed men in the subway car, two women as we ate lunch, a grandmotherly sort as we sat at the lake (he was even asleep), a small girl and her grandmother at the swings, many people on the trains in and out of Penn station and many others along the way.

Collecting is fun.

It seems that we have begun a carousel collection. We have been to a number of different places with Miles and many of these places have carousels. Whenever there is one, we go on it. So far we have been on carousels in Disneyland, the San Francisco zoo, Golden Gate Park and now Central Park. It's a ride that Miles likes and it is always interesting to see the differences in the animals that make up the carousel menagerie. As Miles gets older we can start collecting more exotic carousels or maybe one in every state!

It's never too early to arrange a marriage.

After New York City, we drove up to Ithaca to see my friend Mihal get married. It was a huge gathering and there were many babies in attendance. Mihal's cousin and husband came all the way from Israel and brought their 14 month old baby, Elah, with them. She was so cute and sweet and Miles showed great interest. We arranged for them to meet in the future as we know she comes from a good family.

Miles goes public

2008-07-26T21:18:00.000-07:00

Check out the testimonials at http://www.gearforears.com/ to see Miles in an endorsement for Ear Gear, the great hearing aid clips that have been a wonderful tool to help reduce parental stress. No more concern about losing or destroying the hearing aids!

A new tooth, a new car and a visit from the grandparents

2008-07-26T19:42:00.000-07:00

Miles finally has a tooth! After being the only one in his playgroup to not have any teeth, he finally sprouted a pearly white and very sharp tooth. He has been very good about not biting me while nursing which allows him to keep nursing. As soon as I can get a good picture of it I'll post it.

We also have a new car! We got a Mazda 5, the mini mini-wagon. It seats six, has three rows, the back two rows lie flat for great cargo ability, it gets decent gas mileage for a car of its kind and has sliding doors. Here's a photo of Miles on his maiden voyage, going to playgroup.

Grandma Lorraine and Grandpa Jack came for a visit last week. Miles had lots of fun visiting with his grandparents. We went out to Moss Beach to see the tidepools but the tide was too high to see much in the water. But the harbor seals were out sunning themselves and giving birth to their pups. We weren't able to get too close from down below (it's against the law) but we found a trail that allowed us a nice view from up above. The baby seals played in the surf as the mommas rested on the shore. It was pretty neat to watch. The weather was typical of the ocean shore- overcast and cold.

On the weekend, we headed into San Francisco to show off Golden Gate Park. There is a really great children's playground with a carousel right next to it. Miles had lots of fun watching the older kids, playing on the climbing equipment and creeping around on the spongy material they put down for safety. Then we went on the carousel. Miles got to ride on a rooster this time.

After lunch, we headed towards the botanical gardens where we met up with some very bold squirrels. We finished the day at the Japanese Tea Garden where Jeff took Miles to the top of the barrel bridge and did some fancy stroller dancing. Listen for Miles' squeal of pleasure as you watch the video. A good time was had by all.

As Jeff was taking his parents to the airport, they stopped by the climbing gym to say goodbye. Miles tried his hand at climbing- I think he shows some natural talent.

"I play piano like daddy!"

2008-06-29T12:20:00.001-07:00

I have to use one of Jeff's video editing programs to get this facing the right way but until that happens, turn your computer on its side to enjoy this very cute clip...

The Kiddie Pool

2008-06-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

The weather for the last two days has been uncharacteristically sweltering. The Bay area is known for its very mild, temperate weather with cool ocean breezes moderating the summer sun. But this week, the sun has been winning out. It has reached a deadly 98 degrees and we have been doing everything we can to keep the house cool.

Miles has been particularly cranky for a number of reasons. First, he let me know, if we had told him it was going to be like this, he would have stayed in the womb where the weather was similar but at least he could always be naked. Second, he is transitioning from two regular naps to one. We have been trying to keep him up a little longer in the mornings to try to reduce the cranky time between his nap and bedtime but we have met with little success.

To try to entertain him and keep him cool, we have been playing in water. The first really hot day, I brought him out the backyard and tried to put him in a small foot tub filled with water. However, as he had to wrap his legs around himself like a yogi, we took him out and let him play in the sprinkler instead. I never knew trying to grab water could be so darned entertaining.

Yesterday I went to Target and got him his first ever kiddie pool. It's pretty neat. It's a cross between those spring loaded magic windshield shades and a blow-up kiddie pool. It's very portable and has a sunshield to protect my little white baby (I thought my olive-skinned genes would win out, but, alas, my baby has his daddy's pink skin.)

Instead of just filling it with water, we put the sprinkler inside and let it gently fill the pool. I'm sure Miles could have spent the whole day just holding on to that hose. Even when the water was off and he was out of the pool, the hose provided hours of entertainment.

Nine Month Well Baby Visit

2008-06-13T20:59:00.000-07:00

This news is a little old but I thought the family might want to know...
At nine months, Miles was weighing in at 20 pounds 13 ounces and measuring 29.25 inches. That's around the 50th percentile in weight and around the 75th percentile in height. He is bouncing between 75th and 90th percentile in height so we may have quite the tall guy on our hands.
My pediatrician just adores Miles and talks about how cute he is every time he comes in. All is well and I've got a generally healthy baby (though he is currently experiencing some random vomiting- we'll have to see what that's all about).

Nes Gadol Haya Sham

2008-06-13T09:14:00.000-07:00

That means "a great miracle happened there."
And the great miracle- Miles has started sleeping through the night.
When he was really sick he slept through the night but that doesn't really count. And Monday when we spent the day at Leeann's, he slept in the car on the way home then was up for about an hour and a half before sleeping through until morning.
But last night was the first time he went to sleep at 7:15 pm and didn't really wake up until 5:30 am. Jeff asked if waking up that early was still considered sleeping through the night, and, yes, it is. And best of all, I was able to sleep through the night as well instead of waking up to check whether or not he was still breathing. It took awhile, but we finally got there!
In so many of the baby books, there are statements like, "If you (insert action here), your baby will never (insert desired response here)." There are many statements of absolutes. But babies are such unique creatures that I don't believe there is any one statement or rule that can apply to all babies. Families have to do what works for them and the baby.

Falling in Love with My Baby and Other New Tricks

2008-06-12T21:10:00.000-07:00

An acquaintance told me that having a child was like being in love every day. While there are some days where I am more in love than others, I would have to agree. That's how I can still smile at him and kiss him even when he wakes up at 5:00 in the morning.

When he first began to smile for real, I totally fell in love. When he began to laugh, it got even better. Many months ago, we were walking home from the library in his stroller that faces me and he began to giggle every time he looked up at me, as if he had just noticed I was there, as if he hadn't seen me for weeks on end. And when I asked, "What are you laughing at?" it just made him laugh all the harder. That was great.

But now he's in a phase where he is doing something new all the time and it is often so cute my heart just explodes. For example, on Monday, in a moment of weakness, I let him watch his first ever Baby Einstein video. It was Baby Neptune, all about water, including water at home. There was a video clip of a little baby taking a bath and the baby waves at the camera. My little guy, who loves watching other children, raises his little hand and waves back. It was so adorable I had to grab him and kiss him.

That afternoon we went to visit Leeann and her two little ones, Zoe and Sam. We had our first kiddie pool experience (not too different from the bath) and stayed for dinner. Sam wanted to show Miles all of his toys with wheels but didn't allow anytime for actually playing with them. He would just bring one and then run off to find another. After a few minutes there was one small baby surrounded by a sea of wheeled toys. He was so overwhelmed, he didn't know what to play with.

Whenever I see Miles' hearing teacher, Kerry, or talk to my mother, they ask about any new developments like crawling or getting teeth so I've started to be very aware of his new
accomplishments. His latest trick is pulling up on my fingers and standing quite stably while holding on to something. So
he now has a little play set designed for crawlers and cruisers. Check out how proud he is of himself. Note that he also is still all gums.

Griffin Henry Blanco

2008-05-31T10:04:00.000-07:00

Miles has a new cousin. Griffin arrived on 5/30/08 sometime in the afternoon, measuring 21 inches and weighing 8 pounds, 5 ounces.

Miles is looking forward to meeting the whole clan this summer!

And here is a picture of big brother James.

Nine Months

2008-05-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

It has been nine months since Miles made his way into the world. That means he has been out of the womb as long as he was in the womb.

My mother came to visit last weekend and there was a moment when I caught her looking at me playing with Miles. When asked what was up, she said, "I'm just looking at you with him and thinking where did my life go?"

Where did my life go, indeed. It has been a fast trip so far and they tell me it just keeps on gaining speed.

I'm in the midst of the daycare search debacle. Finding good childcare is hard enough but finding good childcare for Miles is even harder. On top of everything a parent looks for, I need to find him a place where he will not get lost in the midst and one in which there is a good enough ratio that they can keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't choke on or lose a hearing aid. It's challenging enough for me to keep the darn things in his ears and I'm his loving mother.

In celebration of reaching the nine month milestone, here's a slide show of him from birth 'til now.
http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=favphotosofmiles&page=favphotosofmiles&album=53

And here he is modeling his newest Ear Gear, designed to (hopefully) keep him from losing or destroying his hearing aids.

The $4000 Chew Toy

2008-05-22T21:22:00.001-07:00

Miles has ruined his second hearing aid. He finds those moments when I turn my back and suddenly he has his hearing aid all the way in his mouth. He ruined the first one last week. In fact, it might have been earlier. I was going to post an entry entitled, "I am a terrible mother." Here's the story.
It was the Saturday before Mother's Day and, as you have read previously, Miles was sick. He had already had a few episodes of projectile vomiting when something would hit his especially sensitive gag reflex and he would puke up everything in his belly. This led to some very exciting breakfasts as Cheerios seem to really set him off. So I had my back to him as I was sending out a Mother's Day e-mail about the "true meaning of Mother's Day." Suddenly, he was puking again and when I rushed over to him, I found the item that was triggering his gag reflex was his hearing aid. After a mild panic and extreme self flagellation, all was fine. But I discovered his hearing aid did not work sometime the following Wednesday.
I found him sucking on the other one yesterday. I think he does it to punish me for not making him the complete and total center of my universe. Fair enough.

The First Real Cold

2008-05-11T12:33:00.000-07:00

Miles got his first real cold. It lasted for over 10 days and he spiked the first scary fever of his little life.
We ushered in the first hours of my first official mother's day, like some cruel cosmic joke, in the ER as he woke with a fever of 105.2. Now on antibiotics, he's doing much better.
But it led me to wonder what I would do if he ever got really sick. Not just the cold and flu stuff but something like cancer. Just dealing with his little cold made me feel helpless. He cried for almost every moment of Friday, would cry when he coughed, when he woke with raging fever, when he couldn't eat because he was too stuffy. And he looked to me with those beautiful eyes and asked me to help. And all I could do was hold him, try to nurse him, try ineffectually to reduce his pain a little.
Is this the ultimate lesson of motherhood? To let go of trying to control things? To accept that we are truly helpless?
I had more insight about this a day or two ago but the exhaustion has wiped my brain clean.

Miles shows musical genius

2008-05-04T20:52:00.000-07:00

Miles and his dad perform a duet.

Miles embarks on his solo career.

San Francisco Zoo

2008-04-27T08:55:00.000-07:00

I took Miles to the zoo a few days ago. I have mixed feelings about zoos and the SF zoo did nothing to change that. We started off at the children's zoo which was definitely the place to start. The first exhibit had bunnies and guinea pigs running about a big yard. One long hair guinea pig looked like someones toupee had escaped from his head. Miles didn't quite understand that there were things to look at. He just stared at me with a look that said, "Tell me again why we're here?"
But when we got to the prairie dogs and the meerkats, he was interested in the scurrying creatures and then got the idea that this was a place to look at things. He was pretty captivated by the meerkats. Then we got to the petting area. There were goats and sheep just wandering around so we pet some. At first, he was kind of freaked out by the goats but when he saw that I was touching them, he reached out to feel the fur. We also had a lot of fun looking at the ducks and pigs. I'm not sure if he recognized the signs for them as we do them quite a lot at home, but I'm pretty sure he recognized my imitation of their sounds!
He had his second ride on a carousel and this time sat on top of a horse. He enjoyed the ride and watched the painted pictures moving by.
Then we moved on to the bigger animals. While some of the animals like the kangaroos and the giraffes had open spaces to move about, some animals like the tiger, the lions and all of the bears we saw, had much smaller enclosures. While most seemed not to mind too much, the polar bear was pacing back and forth in a truly pathetic way.
While I'm glad Miles had the opportunity to see the different animals, I'm not sure that I feel the need to return anytime too soon.

The Dog Phase

2008-04-23T13:36:00.000-07:00

Miles is in his dog phase. During pregnancy he went through many different phases- one where he looked like a chicken, one where he looked like a fish, like a lizard, etc. Once he was born, there was the loaf of bread phase, the plucked chicken phase, and the reptilian brain phase. But now he is in the dog phase. What, exactly, does the dog phase entail, you ask?

Well, he is unusually friendly, ridiculously attached to his owners/parents, makes this "mmm, mmm, mmm" whine like a dog and he loves shoes. Especially chewing on them. He has a special attachment to his father's duck shoes but he also likes my slippers, my black slip-ons and, well, just about any shoes he can get his hands on, including his own. He will fold himself double to chew on his own shoes. One day, I actually had to take his shoes and hide them because he was chewing the dye right out of them.

Personally, I'm waiting for the moment when he begins to chase his own tail.

Dancing in the living room

2008-04-22T20:15:00.000-07:00

Miles has a great smile and a funny laugh but my favorite of his expressions is one of unbridled joy. He scrunches up his nose and opens his mouth wide in a huge smile. It's impossible not to feel happy when he gives you this smile. It usually lasts for just a moment or two but it leaves a warmth that follows you through your day.

Yesterday I put on some music to entertain me during the afternoon. I brought him into the living room and we began dancing to Michael Franti's "You Can Bomb the World to Pieces (But You Can't Bomb It Into Peace)." Maybe it was the fact that I was singing to him, maybe it was the upbeat rhythm or, as I like to believe, the political, peaceful message, but the entire time we danced, he had this look of complete unrestrained joy on his face. It was such a wonderful moment, one of shared pleasure.

Disneyland

2008-04-14T20:03:00.000-07:00

We took Miles to Disneyland a week ago. Jeff had a trip with his high school choir so we took the baby along. Despite the long trip on the bus and the overstimulation and sleeping in a new place and not being on his usual schedule, he did great!

He had oodles of adoring teenagers (and a few adults as well) to coo at him and tell him how wonderful he is. Many bought him gifts and even more took lots of photos of him just being is cutie patootie self.

One thing I learned about Disneyland that I never would have discovered if I didn't go with a baby is that they have a special baby center right off of Main Street. They provide high chairs, very nice changing tables, itty bitty toilets for the potty training set as well as comfy chairs with some privacy for nursing. It was never very busy and gave us a great place to have a little down time.

We tried out a few rides with Miles. The first ride was the Finding Nemo Submarine (it used to be 10,000 Leagues Under the Sea but no one even knows that movie anymore.) He did great on the line and enjoyed the bubbles until things went dark and there were loud noises. Then he lost it. What do you do with a screaming baby in a confined space? We just passed him back and forth between each other and hoped for the best. He calmed down once the lights were back on and we smiled apologetically to everyone around us. Oof, what a disaster! But he enjoyed the carousel much more. I think we could have done a lot more if we had the patience for the lines. I think Miles would have been just fine on the railroad and boat rides. Jeff and I managed to get on a few adult rides thanks to our eager baby watcher, Vicki. Thanks, Vicki!

Miles wrestles an alligator

2008-04-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

Early Start

2008-04-09T19:42:00.000-07:00

One of the benefits (if you can call it that) of having a child with hearing issues is the free help you get from various resources. In San Mateo county, they have a program called Early Start that works with families of children who have all sorts of developmental issues. I get to work with a wonderful woman named Kerry who comes to our house every week and works with Miles and me on sign language, hearing acuity and other developmental skills. While Kerry has no concerns about Miles beyond his hearing and speech, she comes anyway. It's a great time to play and she seems to think Miles is as wonderful as I do. I also get to bounce some concerns off of her as she is both a mother and someone who has dealt with many families in the same boat as myself.

On her first visit, she talked about the emotions of having a special needs child. She mentioned that the divorce rate is high with couples whose children have special needs. The emotions, she said, mirror those of dealing with death- denial, anger, acceptance, etc.- and said that my husband and I might go through all of these emotions but may do them at different times. The one that stands out for me is denial. We had a lot of that and still do. Jeff and I questioned whether or not the tests were right. We kept agreeing that he seemed to hear everything and is quite sensitive to noise. How could he have a hearing problem?

I have only seen a few times when it is obvious that he is not hearing me, usually when I am far away from him. I am reminded constantly that the hearing aids are essential for proper speech development and we would see a difference if he didn't use them. But still, there is a part of me that wonders if the tests got it right.

The other emotion that looms large is guilt. We did both genetic screening and a CT scan to check for genetic or physical anomalies that could be blamed for Miles' hearing loss. Both tests were negative meaning they will never know why it happened. And that leaves open the window for huge self-blame. Did I not take my prenatal vitamins at some crucial point? Did I exercise too much, too hard, in too hot weather? Am I to blame for this? My friend Leeann points out that many children she has dealt with in her practice were born to women who did street drugs, who didn't eat well, who were homeless and under extreme stress and they gave birth to physically normal children. Sometimes, she says, shit just happens. There's no one to blame.

I am quick to remind myself that this is not a terrible thing. Kerry often tells me that if you have to have a hearing loss, the kind Miles has is one of the best- it's mild and easily remedied. If this is the worst thing to happen to him, he will have a blessed life. But still...

From the beginning

2008-04-09T13:35:00.000-07:00

After 6 months of trying we finally got the BFP, five days after my father died. I was elated and sneaked back into the bedroom to tell Jeff. He was bleary but happy.

And then the worry set in. For months I was on edge, wondering if the baby was going to hold. Women far younger than me had miscarried.

But my belly kept growing and it seemed that everything was going to be just fine. I was eating well and continued to exercise, rock climbing up to three weeks before giving birth.

Finally, the time came. I went into labor around dinner time on 8/28/07. I knew it was happening for real by about 10 pm and hunkered down in the living room, knowing I wasn't going to get any sleep that night. I had back labor so I knew I was in for a rough ride. The hypnobirthing training helped me get through the night without too much difficulty but by 6:30 am or so, I wanted our doula there. Jeff massaged my back as we waited for Jeanna and, once she got there, she helped me with some positions to take the pressure off my back. My water broke in a big way at about 10:30 am and we were off to the hospital. I was already 5 cm. dilated and beginning to question my decision to go without pain medication. Jeanna got me into the shower where Jeff continued to massage my back and I moaned, "I can't do this, I can't do this!" By the time I was out, I could feel the baby start to crown. The nurse just barely restrained herself from rolling her eyes at me but checked and sure enough, I was 9 cm. and the baby's head was right there. They called the doctor and by the time she got there, I was 10 cm. and doing all I could not to push. Once the OB had her scrubs on, I got into my squat position, Jeff behind me with support. I pushed a total of five minutes and Miles was out, healthy and happy.

They did the first newborn hearing screening when he was just a day old. He didn't pass but the nurses told me not to worry as there might be amniotic fluid in his ears and they would test him again before we went home. Again, he didn't pass but I was told this was not unusual.

He seemed to be able to hear. Once he was home, he would jump at loud noises, open his eyes to sound and generally respond to the world around him. But when he didn't pass the ABR at one month, we were told he would need further diagnostic testing. At two months, we did a longer ABR and it showed that he had a mild to moderate hearing loss in the mid-ranges of sound. Thus began an endless series of appointments; to the ENT, to the audiologist, to the pediatrician, back to the audiologist, for earmolds, for hearing aids, for new earmolds because the first ones didn't fit, for his real hearing aids, for earmolds (again!).

And now I will get on my soapbox. One major bit of learning for us was that few health insurance companies cover hearing aids. This enrages me. They will pay for speech therapists and occupational therapists and all the things Miles would need if we did not correct the hearing loss immediately, but they would not cover the bit of prevention necessary to make sure his development happens as it should. This is not such a worry for us (the insurance Jeff has partially covers HAs and we would be able to spring for the cost if it didn't) but what do low income families do? How do they make sure their children get the support they need? What do senior citizens on fixed incomes do when they need hearing aids? This seems criminal to me, especially when we're talking about children who have yet to develop language.

Despite the hearing loss, Miles has been developing right on schedule. In all other ways, he is right where he should be. He is rolling over, pushing up on his arms, babbling, tracking with his eyes, and sitting up stably. He is a constant joy to Jeff and me. He is aware and happy and cute as can be.