Removing Lists

I am happy to announce that I have removed the lists of words Miles can say and sign. I did a little exercise of listing every word I can remember him using, unprompted, and it tallies up to over 500 words. So I'm letting go of the lists.

A couple of cute stories

I went with Miles to school this morning. He's got a little cold so has been a bit under the weather. As we were leaving school, we were heading out with one of his friends, Esteban, who was headed towards the bus. Miles fell behind and Esteban reached up to take my hand. When Miles saw this, he complained loudly. He was like a jealous lover. Even when I offered my other hand, he was so offended that he refused. He made the point of letting everyone know that I was his mommy.

When we got home, he was interested in playing a little tee ball. He got out his bat and tee along with a bucket of balls we have for such things. He was taking the balls out, one by one, to place them on the tee and hit them. At one point, he put a ball on the tee and, before he could hit it, got distracted. He forgot and reached into the bucket for another ball. As he turned to place the second ball on the tee, he saw the first one and said to the second, "Wait your turn!" Once he hit the ball already on the tee, he said, "Your turn!" and put the second ball up there to be hit. He's learned his turn taking well.

Miles woos the ladies

Miles is getting kisses. I knew this day would come, I just didn't expect it so soon!

Frustration

OK, I'm mostly writing this to get sympathy and maybe some suggestions from other HOH parents out there.
I'm feeling some major frustration with the audiologist we are working with. I adore her and she is awesome with Miles but trying to schedule time with her is awful! We set up appointments almost 4 months in advance only to find out that she has meetings on both days we scheduled and now has to change them. Since we are now only looking at two months in advance, we can't find any time before March!!! I only work three days a week so one would imagine that we could find something on the days when I'm off but she doesn't work on Mondays, and Tuesdays are when she has her meetings. I'm seriously considering switching audiologists if not switching practices altogether but this is the only place in the entire Bay Area that focuses on children. Arrgh!!!

Episode 50 in which mama earns a medical degree

I had to take Miles to Urgent Care on Thursday night because he came home from daycare with goo running out of his ear again. I knew this was coming. I saw it building with my otoscope but also knew that I would have to wait until it got yucky to bring him to the doctor. When there, I presented all the information to the urgent care doc and said, "Do you think I might be able to call in the symptoms next time this happens so I don't have to spend $20 and countless hours coming in to be told what I already know?"
The doc said that all made sense to her and was willing to write me a prescription with refills, seeing as how we have the otoscope and are obviously knowledgeable about what to look for. However, she's not my regular pediatrician so we'll have to see what she says.
Who knew I'd become such an expert on ear infections?

Are we ready to play?

When Miles was first born, Jeff was a little disappointed that he was just a blob. He asked me when Miles would be ready to "play." As evidenced by these videos, I would say that time is now.

Musical Genius

A John Cage-like composition by father and son.

Miles turns two!

This happened about a month ago so it's kind of shameful that it has taken me this long to post pictures and whatnot. But it was a month long festival of events. As it should be, for such a delicious and sweet boy as this!

On his actual birthday, his dad and I fed his train obsession by biking down to the train station, taking the local light rail into San Jose, biking around the city and then taking Caltrain back north. He was so happy. It took us almost an hour to get to San Jose but he was as content as could be, looking out the window, smiling at all the people who came on and off the train. We found the bike trail that runs along the river in SJ and biked around until we came to a park that had fountains for playing in. Then off to Caltrain and home in time for a nap.
The day was finished nicely as it was one of those incredibly hot days, an anomaly for Northern CA. We went to the pool in our complex and there was another family there, celebrating the birthdays of both their sons. We were encouraged to come in and get food and drink. They had a bouncy house in the back of the cabana. Miles went in happily for the first time ever and eventually went down the slide.


The following day we opened presents and he got to have his birthday cupcake with candle (he refers to such treats as "happy cake."

The following Monday, his daycare provider had a little party for him at the end of the day. More "happy cake."

Two weeks later it was my birthday and, since it was his father's Back-to-School night at work, he and I celebrated with dinner and cupcakes from Safeway. More "happy cake."

Next, we had a 2 x 20 birthday party to celebrate the two milestone birthdays (and the wonderful coincidence of the math.) More "happy cake," swimming and presents.

And finally, the day after, we had a group birthday for all the kids in his playgroup.

From now on, I think he will be very disappointed if the birthday celebration does not go on for multiple weeks.

Miles is off to school!

My big boy is off to school on the school bus. He has been going to the Early Start program in Santa Clara since the beginning of the summer and had started up again with me taking him there and bringing him back. But now, he is taking the bus once a week. It comes to our house, takes him to school and then brings him to daycare after the day is over.
Yesterday was the first time he got picked up at home and did the whole day without me. He was very excited about going on the bus but when he realized that I was going to leave, he gave me a look that said, "Are you sure about this?" His teachers report that he got to school with nothing but smiles, had a great day (though another DAMN runny nose), and our daycare person reported that he was all smiles when he got to her and, amazingly enough, was still awake. School takes a lot out of him.
I went with him today which was nice for him but certainly not as exciting as going on the bus.

A Little Summer Goes a Long Way

Summer has been great. I love not working and having time to be with Miles, having some time to myself and paying attention to the smaller things.

Miles started his Early Start program here in Santa Clara County. We were given the choice of the auditory/oral class, where they only speak to the children, and the total communication class, where they speak and sign. I guess I knew this was a controversial issue but I had no idea just how loaded it was. When I visited the two classes in the spring, I chose the oral class because the children in the class had the strongest oral skills and I wanted Miles to have those good models. But once we had been there for a week or two, the teacher told me that, come fall, I wouldn't be able to sign to Miles while in the class. Not that she has any problem with it, but she explained there were major legal battles over the issue. She then suggested that I check out the TC class.

As was the case in the spring, the children there had little in the way of oral skills. But, I was reminded, there will be many changes in clientele in the fall and things may change radically. So it came down to my own philosophy of what I believe is best for Miles. I chose the signing class. I'm sure I will hear from many of the HOH community, but I chose based on what we do at home including what I know as an educator- children learn best when they are presented with multiple modalities for learning. Also, he will only be at school for six hours a week so he will have plenty of time with strong oral models at all the other hours of his week, especially with his parents.

Will all choices of his education be so fraught?

Meanwhile, we spent the summer perfecting the "staycation" concept. Miles has become completely obsessed with trains so last Saturday we biked down to the local train station, took the train a few stops, biked to some local parks, took the train home again and biked back. He was totally amazed that you could actually go inside the train.

The grandparents came to visit for a week plus a few days after a trip to Oregon. It was really nice for Miles to spend more time with them as we are so far away. Plus, it meant that Jeff and I were able to go on a few date nights. Always good for the marriage. We spent plenty of time in the complex's pool and got some cute video and photos.

Early in the summer, my husband totaled his bicycle, luckily without any damage to himself. It then necessitated him purchasing a new bicycle. He was so tickeld with it that we then bought one for me. Since then, we have had all sorts of family bicycle outings and I have taken my bike out for a few long rides all by myself. It's nice to have a new physical outlet that challenges me and gets me outdoors.

Back to school soon- I'm trying to pack in as much as possible in the short time left.

After all the sadness of this past year, it can be hard to feel grateful. I recently heard a segment on NPR about a man who went from praying for things, to praying to get out of jams and finally, after a bad motorcycle accident, went to a prayer that goes like this: "Thank you, thank you, thank you for this life."
I am tapping into the gratitude for fresh food from the farmers' market, trips out with my family, the sunshine that warms the tomato plants, the crisp green leaves against the crisp blue sky. It fills my heart and keeps me from despair.

Sign Language Club

In an attempt to get a few extra bucks, I did a sign language club with students from my school this year. They learned "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" in sign language and performed it for the school at the annual talent show.
Check out the video!

Miles learns to play tee ball

It is girls' softball season around here and when we take Miles to the park, he has become very interested in watching the girls of all ages playing softball. He knows to clap when a good play has been made and he has learned to squat like a catcher. He likes to stand right up near the fence so he has a really good view.

The other night we noticed that he was chasing a ball around with a stick and Jeff thought he might be playing "hockey." But eventually we figured out that he was trying to play baseball like the big girls he had seen at the park. Jeff rigged up a tee using a tube from one of my vacuum cleaners and found a long cardboard tube to use as a bat. See the video below to witness the final results. We've since bought him a real whiffle ball and bat. Next is the tee so he can play for real.

Amazing Miles

Here is a wonderful and amazing Miles story:

He was at daycare and everyone was outside playing in our daycare lady's backyard. One of the other children was just arriving to school and having a hard time of it. She sat down at the beginning of the walkway to the backyard and cried. The provider encouraged her mom to just come into the backyard, expecting that the little girl would follow after a moment or two.
Miles heard her crying, left the playhouse and walked to where she was sitting. He began talking to her, which made her stop crying, and then offered his hand to her. She took it and then joined everyone in the backyard!

Beyond being the sweetest story ever, I was amazed to hear that my boy was so adept at empathy. I expect he will accomplish great things.

Spring Break and Great America

I had a week off which was much needed. Unfortunately, much of it was spent dealing with a sick baby. Miles has had a crazy awful cold. He came down with fever the Thursday before my break and I took off half of Friday to be at home with him. The fever went away after two or three days but I got a call on Wednesday from his daycare telling me that he had thrown up. I went to get him and Leila told me that he had woken up from his nap with ear wax down his cheek. I knew he had an ear infection and that we were going to have to make another trip to the doctor. He's now on oral antibiotics and ear drops but his ears still look horrible.

On Saturday, Jeff's choir sang at Great America, a local amusement park. We met everyone at 9 am and the park opened at 10. They set up, warmed up and then the choirs sang their pieces. During the warm up, I let Miles run around the roped off area and he walked right up in front of the group as if he was going to conduct them. It was adorable.


Surprisingly, there were lots of rides for him to go on. They have two areas specially designed for the toddler set and we took him on all the appropriate rides. It was his first real experience with rides and he loved it. There were a number of "car" type rides that went around in circles. He also loved the toddler sized carousel where he got to ride on a "train." A few of the rides went slowly into the air and he seemed just fine with that. It was a full day but he had a great time. Jeff and I even had some time to go on adult rides while Miles spent some quality time with our friend Vicki.

My dancing boy

We've just returned from a fundraiser for Jeff's district. It was a crab feed/auction dinner where they had all-you-can-eat crab, salad and dessert plus drinks you can buy for cheap. They had a rock band going during dinner. They were a fun band playing classic rock from the Beatles and the Doors to U2 and the Police. There was some Tom Jones and Marvin Gaye thrown in there for good measure.

What made the night memorable was the fact that once we were done eating and Miles was getting a little antsy, we got up with him and, rather than walking outside or playing with the toys I brought to keep him entertained, Miles wanted to dance. I was astounded by the sophistication he showed in dancing to the songs and stopping as they made their transition to the next tune. He also clapped for the band between songs. Miles got quite a bit of attention and there were a number of ladies who wanted to be his dance partner.

My son has enough personality to share with many other children and still be a complete charmer. He was too cute!

My singing boy

Miles has begun to sing.  Sometimes the songs are recognizable.  He can sound out an interesting approximation of the Alphabet Song.  I know when he's trying to sing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" because he does the hand motions.  But today, I heard him chanting something that sounded like "Ahseh, ahseh, all... Dahn!"

Knowing that he says "all done" I figured this is what he was saying.  But he kept chanting the line over and over.  Then I realized what he was getting at; he was singing "Ring Around the Rosie."  Jeff shook his head over the first recognizable song being about smallpox.  Go figure.

Sometimes his singing will be an amalgamation of all the songs he knows and it sounds like he is just composing his own.  It's not bad, either.  He obviously has his daddy's musical genes.

In this way, he's also starting to "count."  When we heat up his bottle in the microwave, we count down the seconds.  He has begun imitating the tone and approximating the sound of the numbers.  Smart baby!

Language Development Despite Ear Infections

This is the time of a toddler's life where language just explodes. Even a little guy with hearing problems like Miles  starts picking it up left and right. It's amazing- the desire to imitate takes over and he just picks up everything we say and everything we do. Everyday there is a new word or new sign or new discovery. It's so much fun.

The other day we picked him up from daycare, gave him dinner and got him ready for his bath. As we took out his hearing aids, I saw that there was a yellowish goo in the tubing of his aids and then realized that the tubes in his ears were doing their job. He had developed the beginning of an infection and the discharge left his inner ear and flowed right up into the tubes of his aids. Yuck. A visit to the doctor and a few days of drops and he is doing much better.

Miles has discovered technology. We can no longer work on the computer while he is awake because he wants to play with it. He loves the telephone and has long "conversations" on anything that even looks like a phone. He has also discovered the DVD player. He isn't really interested in watching the TV (though he does enjoy a Baby Einstein video now and again.) He just likes opening and closing it, putting in new disks and pushing the buttons. He also really enjoys our cameras but it makes taking photos of him difficult as, whenever he sees the camera, he wants to play with it. So we don't have too many photos of him at this phase in his life. However, I'll add a few ranging from about December to now. One of the more recent ones, I had to sneak up on him and use the telephoto lens. As soon as he realized he was being photographed, he started coming after me!

You can just imagine the caption for this one!

New, new, new

So we are in our new home. We're still up to our ears in boxes but that will decline dramatically once spring break comes along.
Miles is now going to a new daycare. This place is a very small daycare facility run by a young woman out of her home. She only takes a maximum of four children on any one day. Most of the other children are younger than Miles but one is just a bit older. Our daycare lady commented that when the older child is there, Miles acts like a "big boy." When he is surrounded by the babies, he is whiny and clingy. This is a bad omen for a future baby in our family!
One thing Miles has learned from this older boy is to say "uh-oh." He uses it appropriately (like when he drops the yogurt container on the floor) but he also just likes to say it. The other night I had put him in his crib for bedtime and turned the monitor on in the kitchen. I heard him cooing to his teddy bear, singing to himself and listening to his music. Then he starts saying, "Uh-oh, uh-oh." I knew he was just practicing but I certainly stopped short thinking, "Hmm, should I go up and check on him? What's he saying 'uh-oh' about?"
Very cute.
The words are coming fast and furious. Though as I say this, I also laugh about this past week's situation. I made a very concerted effort to get started with Early Start in Santa Clara County as soon as possible. We met up with one of their teachers last Tuesday. I was trying to get Miles to perform for her, to show her signs that he knew or to say words that he knew. Jeff likens it to the cartoon with the singing and dancing frog who will only perform for his owner.
So, trust me. He is starting to talk! Check out the list of words and signs on the side of the blog.

This I Believe

In a fight, Love will kick Death's ass each and every time.

So many changes, so much to do.

We are healing slowly, bit by bit every day. I no longer cry everyday. I am going to a support group for those who have lost babies. I am back at work. And I miss Izabelle terribly.
How is it possible to miss someone you have not even met?

And still, life goes on. Miles is the light in all the darkness. He is my cheerful little boo, a total charmer. He came with Jeff and me to my school winter party and flirted with all the teachers. He played and laughed and had a great time, even though he was up way past his bedtime.

Last Thursday he had tubes put in his ears. He has had fluid for awhile now and I think this is really going to help him. At his yearly IFSP, Nikki noted that he is at age benchmarks or beyond in everything except expressive language. And yet he babbles up a storm. It will be amazing when all that talk is actual language.
The tubes went smoothly. Jeff and I were both overanxious after having lost Izabelle. I was very much on edge when he had to have general anesthesia for his ABR at six months but I was almost as anxious this time around. Jeff asked me to call him as soon as the surgery was done and didn't even make it that long before calling.
Miles was like Curious George when the monkey goes to the hospital. All the other kids were nervous and sad. He was clowning around, flirting with a little girl in the waiting room and making everyone smile. It took a long time for them to finally come get him for the procedure but the actual operation took about 30 minutes from when they took him from me until the time I could go be with him. He was kind of cranky until he was awake enough to take a bottle. Then he came to and we made it home in time for another bottle and a three hour nap.
I think the worst part (for him, at least) was the drops we had to put in his ears afterwards. It took the full three days for him to learn that they didn't hurt. Now that we don't have to use them anymore he wants them in his ears. Silly boy...

We're buying a house. A townhouse, actually. It's got 4 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms and closets! The closing date is this Thursday and moving day is the following Tuesday. It's very exciting but stressful as well. One thing we'll have to do is transfer Miles' services for Early Start as we'll be moving to a new county. I'm not looking forward to it. And then there is the actual moving. We're trying to pack when Miles naps. We obviously haven't gotten much done. My mother is coming soon to watch him while we work. Hopefully we'll be ready!

Tragedy

I went in for an ultrasound scan on Friday to find that Izabelle's heart had stopped beating. I had suspected as much. I had a minor complication with amniotic separation 4 weeks before and was very scared that this would affect the baby. I stopped rock climbing and modified my activities so I wasn't doing as much lifting and carrying. After we came back from Florida and I had started back to work, I had noticed that Izzy wasn't moving very much. I worried about it and rationalized it. So when the technician told me that they couldn't see a heartbeat, I was devastated but not very surprised.

Jeff was at the house we hope to buy, meeting with the inspectors, when I called from the doctor's office. He left immediately to meet me at home. We cried together and waited for my OB to call. Because I was so far along with the pregnancy, I had to deliver her. We checked into the hospital at about noon and, after taking some blood and starting an IV, they gave me some cytotec to start ripening my cervix for labor. If the contractions didn't start on their own, they would have broken the amniotic sac and given me some pitocin.

When these terrible things happen, there are always the bright spots that allow you to see all that is good and joyful in life. I had e-mailed my playgroup moms and told them what was happening. I asked that if they were available that they come to the hospital and hold my hand. I also called Leeann, my college roommate and dear friend. They all came to help. And they gave me exactly what I needed; people to cry with and people to laugh with and most of all, some distraction. They brought flowers and chocolate and magazines and movies. They arranged a schedule to take care of Miles while Jeff and I were in the hospital and a schedule of people to bring food so we wouldn't have to plan dinners. I am so grateful for these wonderful women who came to my aid and helped us through.

It took well into the evening before I was getting any significant contractions. I was exhausted and knew that I was not going to be able to sleep so they gave me a shot of morphine and some other drug and this helped stave off the pain and let me sleep for a few hours. Somewhere around 2 am, the contractions started for real. The night nurse gave me another kind of drug through my IV and, while that made me loopy, it didn't dull the pain. I asked for the epidural but by the time the anesthesiologist got there, I was ready to birth her. Izabelle Rhea Blanco was born at 2:37 am on Jan. 10, 2009.

We held her and cried and talked to her and cried. The hospital encouraged us to take photos to put in a memory box that they provide under such circumstances. They also put in a hat and blanket they photographed her in and a little stuffed heart along with a journal for us to put down thoughts and feelings. We put in the only outfit that I bought for her and will put in some of her ashes when we get them.

We have scheduled a ceremony for her on Jan. 18. We will scatter her ashes at Fort Funston into the ocean.

Fun in Florida

To keep himself entertained, Miles discovered two unique things in his grandmother's kitchen. The first was a set of drawers that contained pots in one drawer, lids in another and hot pads in a third. He began to use the hot pads to pick the lids up from the pots like mom and dad do when they are cooking. Smart boy!
The second thing he discovered was the cereal closet. He began by removing all the boxes of cereal and standing on them like he does with his books at home. Then, when he discovered the adults weren't too keen on him standing on the boxes, he would clear the top shelf and climb into it. Then he discovered that he could close the cabinet doors and play peek-a-boo with whomever was on the other side.
Another cute thing: We were driving in the car to see Harry and Kristen and Clovis. Miles was in the back in his car seat, babbling away to himself as he often does. Suddenly, he lets out a peal of laughter and Jeff said, "I love it when he tells himself a funny joke." Later, as the adults were sitting around and I recalled this event, Jeff pointed out Miles' model- we talk and then we laugh, we talk and then we laugh. He gets it!
I have a 2 1/2 min. video of him playing with the pots but it is taking forever to get up here. If I can post it, I will.

Christmas in Florida

We spent our holiday in Florida visiting with Jeff's friends and family. My mom flew down from New York for a few days which was really nice. Miles dealt very well with the plane ride out and flirted with anyone available. He also did quite well with the huge hordes of people who descended upon Lorraine's house to meet him. We got to see Harry, Kristen and Clovis for awhile. Miles decided that he didn't really want a big sister who was going to tell him what to do but he doesn't think he'll mind a little sister who he can push around.
My mom came on Friday afternoon and Saturday we had a huge gathering with Steve Miles, one of Miles' namesakes, Libby and Eric and their two daughters, Zoe and Quinn, my mom and Jeff's parents. Later Uncle Ted and Aunt Cathy showed up to coo over Miles. Cathy and Miles created a lovely bond.
On Tuesday we had more visitors as Jeff's aunt, uncle and cousin came to visit and then we were joined by more friends, Bob and Kathy. Through the week, Miles met various people around the neighborhood, one who gave Miles a wonderful little bear who he fell instantly in love with.
The trip back was a little more difficult as we left in the afternoon Florida time and didn't get back until quite late even by West Coast standards. He fell asleep for small naps on the plane but wasn't really rested. He fell asleep on the shuttle home and was not happy when I woke him to change his diaper and get him into his PJ's.
The major news from this trip is that Miles finally started walking. We knew he was getting close and he would walk everywhere as long as he had some support. But gradually over the week he gained more and more confidence and began taking longer and longer forays on his own power. We were all very impressed! He's kept it up now that we are home. I'm in for it now!
All the relatives commented on how well he is babbling and signing. He's really thriving.