Working Sucks

I'm back to work now and every day I think, "What have I done? Why am I not at home taking care of my baby?"
The mornings are rushed, the evenings are rushed, there is precious little time to spend together as a family and worst of all, I don't think I'm doing a good job, either as a mother or as a teacher. I don't have sufficient time to plan and I don't have sufficient time to spend with Miles. I worry that he's not getting the speech development he needs or that the nanny isn't putting in his hearing aids enough. He cries when I drop him off in the morning which pulls on my very delicate mommy heart strings. I know he stops crying once I'm out of sight and that he likes Beatrice (our nanny) but I can't help but think that I should be the one staying with him, making sure he gets everything he needs. But this is good for him, right? The socialization, being cared for by someone other than mommy or daddy?

Sigh...