Monday, September 22, 2008

Magical Thinking

Our nanny said something to me the other day that made me irrationally angry.
While I was picking Miles up (and coincidentally, he didn't have his hearing aids in) she told me that her faith tells her that once Miles has developed his speech, he won't need the hearing aids anymore.
This really bothered me and I had to think about why. In explaining it to Jeff I was able to put my finger on it.
It has taken me this long to accept that Miles will always need his hearing aids. Always. We went through plenty of denial- maybe the tests are wrong, maybe it really isn't that bad. And when I finally got to the point of accepting his impairment, and realizing on the grand scheme of things, it really isn't that bad, I really don't need someone messing up that acceptance. As I told Jeff, it's like someone finally accepting that they have a life threatening cancer and someone else saying, "You'll be all right. I've prayed for you."
Now, I have nothing against prayer. Anyone can do as much praying for Miles as they would like. But to tell me that they have faith that his hearing impairment will just vanish pisses me off. It denies my concerns for all that he needs- the language development, constant use of his hearing aids, sign language and all other ways that a caregiver needs to make modifications for a hearing impaired child.

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