Tragedy

I went in for an ultrasound scan on Friday to find that Izabelle's heart had stopped beating. I had suspected as much. I had a minor complication with amniotic separation 4 weeks before and was very scared that this would affect the baby. I stopped rock climbing and modified my activities so I wasn't doing as much lifting and carrying. After we came back from Florida and I had started back to work, I had noticed that Izzy wasn't moving very much. I worried about it and rationalized it. So when the technician told me that they couldn't see a heartbeat, I was devastated but not very surprised.

Jeff was at the house we hope to buy, meeting with the inspectors, when I called from the doctor's office. He left immediately to meet me at home. We cried together and waited for my OB to call. Because I was so far along with the pregnancy, I had to deliver her. We checked into the hospital at about noon and, after taking some blood and starting an IV, they gave me some cytotec to start ripening my cervix for labor. If the contractions didn't start on their own, they would have broken the amniotic sac and given me some pitocin.

When these terrible things happen, there are always the bright spots that allow you to see all that is good and joyful in life. I had e-mailed my playgroup moms and told them what was happening. I asked that if they were available that they come to the hospital and hold my hand. I also called Leeann, my college roommate and dear friend. They all came to help. And they gave me exactly what I needed; people to cry with and people to laugh with and most of all, some distraction. They brought flowers and chocolate and magazines and movies. They arranged a schedule to take care of Miles while Jeff and I were in the hospital and a schedule of people to bring food so we wouldn't have to plan dinners. I am so grateful for these wonderful women who came to my aid and helped us through.

It took well into the evening before I was getting any significant contractions. I was exhausted and knew that I was not going to be able to sleep so they gave me a shot of morphine and some other drug and this helped stave off the pain and let me sleep for a few hours. Somewhere around 2 am, the contractions started for real. The night nurse gave me another kind of drug through my IV and, while that made me loopy, it didn't dull the pain. I asked for the epidural but by the time the anesthesiologist got there, I was ready to birth her. Izabelle Rhea Blanco was born at 2:37 am on Jan. 10, 2009.

We held her and cried and talked to her and cried. The hospital encouraged us to take photos to put in a memory box that they provide under such circumstances. They also put in a hat and blanket they photographed her in and a little stuffed heart along with a journal for us to put down thoughts and feelings. We put in the only outfit that I bought for her and will put in some of her ashes when we get them.

We have scheduled a ceremony for her on Jan. 18. We will scatter her ashes at Fort Funston into the ocean.

Fun in Florida

To keep himself entertained, Miles discovered two unique things in his grandmother's kitchen. The first was a set of drawers that contained pots in one drawer, lids in another and hot pads in a third. He began to use the hot pads to pick the lids up from the pots like mom and dad do when they are cooking. Smart boy!
The second thing he discovered was the cereal closet. He began by removing all the boxes of cereal and standing on them like he does with his books at home. Then, when he discovered the adults weren't too keen on him standing on the boxes, he would clear the top shelf and climb into it. Then he discovered that he could close the cabinet doors and play peek-a-boo with whomever was on the other side.
Another cute thing: We were driving in the car to see Harry and Kristen and Clovis. Miles was in the back in his car seat, babbling away to himself as he often does. Suddenly, he lets out a peal of laughter and Jeff said, "I love it when he tells himself a funny joke." Later, as the adults were sitting around and I recalled this event, Jeff pointed out Miles' model- we talk and then we laugh, we talk and then we laugh. He gets it!
I have a 2 1/2 min. video of him playing with the pots but it is taking forever to get up here. If I can post it, I will.

Christmas in Florida

We spent our holiday in Florida visiting with Jeff's friends and family. My mom flew down from New York for a few days which was really nice. Miles dealt very well with the plane ride out and flirted with anyone available. He also did quite well with the huge hordes of people who descended upon Lorraine's house to meet him. We got to see Harry, Kristen and Clovis for awhile. Miles decided that he didn't really want a big sister who was going to tell him what to do but he doesn't think he'll mind a little sister who he can push around.
My mom came on Friday afternoon and Saturday we had a huge gathering with Steve Miles, one of Miles' namesakes, Libby and Eric and their two daughters, Zoe and Quinn, my mom and Jeff's parents. Later Uncle Ted and Aunt Cathy showed up to coo over Miles. Cathy and Miles created a lovely bond.
On Tuesday we had more visitors as Jeff's aunt, uncle and cousin came to visit and then we were joined by more friends, Bob and Kathy. Through the week, Miles met various people around the neighborhood, one who gave Miles a wonderful little bear who he fell instantly in love with.
The trip back was a little more difficult as we left in the afternoon Florida time and didn't get back until quite late even by West Coast standards. He fell asleep for small naps on the plane but wasn't really rested. He fell asleep on the shuttle home and was not happy when I woke him to change his diaper and get him into his PJ's.
The major news from this trip is that Miles finally started walking. We knew he was getting close and he would walk everywhere as long as he had some support. But gradually over the week he gained more and more confidence and began taking longer and longer forays on his own power. We were all very impressed! He's kept it up now that we are home. I'm in for it now!
All the relatives commented on how well he is babbling and signing. He's really thriving.