We are healing slowly, bit by bit every day. I no longer cry everyday. I am going to a support group for those who have lost babies. I am back at work. And I miss Izabelle terribly.
How is it possible to miss someone you have not even met?
And still, life goes on. Miles is the light in all the darkness. He is my cheerful little boo, a total charmer. He came with Jeff and me to my school winter party and flirted with all the teachers. He played and laughed and had a great time, even though he was up way past his bedtime.
Last Thursday he had tubes put in his ears. He has had fluid for awhile now and I think this is really going to help him. At his yearly IFSP, Nikki noted that he is at age benchmarks or beyond in everything except expressive language. And yet he babbles up a storm. It will be amazing when all that talk is actual language.
The tubes went smoothly. Jeff and I were both overanxious after having lost Izabelle. I was very much on edge when he had to have general anesthesia for his ABR at six months but I was almost as anxious this time around. Jeff asked me to call him as soon as the surgery was done and didn't even make it that long before calling.
Miles was like Curious George when the monkey goes to the hospital. All the other kids were nervous and sad. He was clowning around, flirting with a little girl in the waiting room and making everyone smile. It took a long time for them to finally come get him for the procedure but the actual operation took about 30 minutes from when they took him from me until the time I could go be with him. He was kind of cranky until he was awake enough to take a bottle. Then he came to and we made it home in time for another bottle and a three hour nap.
I think the worst part (for him, at least) was the drops we had to put in his ears afterwards. It took the full three days for him to learn that they didn't hurt. Now that we don't have to use them anymore he wants them in his ears. Silly boy...
We're buying a house. A townhouse, actually. It's got 4 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms and closets! The closing date is this Thursday and moving day is the following Tuesday. It's very exciting but stressful as well. One thing we'll have to do is transfer Miles' services for Early Start as we'll be moving to a new county. I'm not looking forward to it. And then there is the actual moving. We're trying to pack when Miles naps. We obviously haven't gotten much done. My mother is coming soon to watch him while we work. Hopefully we'll be ready!
2 comments:
May God bless your little daughter and keep her safe in his arms.
Surgery is always stressful, and I can't imagine having to go through it at such a stressful time. The tubes will help Miles a lot! Nolan is really starting to take off with expressive language, but was stalled until we got his tubes in December. The worse ear had an 80dB mixed loss with teh fluid- ouch!
Congratulations on the new house. Here's to getting settled in quickly!
Oh, dear, you met her. You met her and loved her and carried her for so long - how could you not miss her? She is and forever will be yours, just not in your arms, and I ache for your loss. I am a part of a parenting community called JustMommies, they have a phenomenal support group for babyloss mamas on their message boards if you are so inclined. I am glad things are going so well with Miles.
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