From the beginning

After 6 months of trying we finally got the BFP, five days after my father died. I was elated and sneaked back into the bedroom to tell Jeff. He was bleary but happy.

And then the worry set in. For months I was on edge, wondering if the baby was going to hold. Women far younger than me had miscarried.

But my belly kept growing and it seemed that everything was going to be just fine. I was eating well and continued to exercise, rock climbing up to three weeks before giving birth.

Finally, the time came. I went into labor around dinner time on 8/28/07. I knew it was happening for real by about 10 pm and hunkered down in the living room, knowing I wasn't going to get any sleep that night. I had back labor so I knew I was in for a rough ride. The hypnobirthing training helped me get through the night without too much difficulty but by 6:30 am or so, I wanted our doula there. Jeff massaged my back as we waited for Jeanna and, once she got there, she helped me with some positions to take the pressure off my back. My water broke in a big way at about 10:30 am and we were off to the hospital. I was already 5 cm. dilated and beginning to question my decision to go without pain medication. Jeanna got me into the shower where Jeff continued to massage my back and I moaned, "I can't do this, I can't do this!" By the time I was out, I could feel the baby start to crown. The nurse just barely restrained herself from rolling her eyes at me but checked and sure enough, I was 9 cm. and the baby's head was right there. They called the doctor and by the time she got there, I was 10 cm. and doing all I could not to push. Once the OB had her scrubs on, I got into my squat position, Jeff behind me with support. I pushed a total of five minutes and Miles was out, healthy and happy.

They did the first newborn hearing screening when he was just a day old. He didn't pass but the nurses told me not to worry as there might be amniotic fluid in his ears and they would test him again before we went home. Again, he didn't pass but I was told this was not unusual.

He seemed to be able to hear. Once he was home, he would jump at loud noises, open his eyes to sound and generally respond to the world around him. But when he didn't pass the ABR at one month, we were told he would need further diagnostic testing. At two months, we did a longer ABR and it showed that he had a mild to moderate hearing loss in the mid-ranges of sound. Thus began an endless series of appointments; to the ENT, to the audiologist, to the pediatrician, back to the audiologist, for earmolds, for hearing aids, for new earmolds because the first ones didn't fit, for his real hearing aids, for earmolds (again!).

And now I will get on my soapbox. One major bit of learning for us was that few health insurance companies cover hearing aids. This enrages me. They will pay for speech therapists and occupational therapists and all the things Miles would need if we did not correct the hearing loss immediately, but they would not cover the bit of prevention necessary to make sure his development happens as it should. This is not such a worry for us (the insurance Jeff has partially covers HAs and we would be able to spring for the cost if it didn't) but what do low income families do? How do they make sure their children get the support they need? What do senior citizens on fixed incomes do when they need hearing aids? This seems criminal to me, especially when we're talking about children who have yet to develop language.

Despite the hearing loss, Miles has been developing right on schedule. In all other ways, he is right where he should be. He is rolling over, pushing up on his arms, babbling, tracking with his eyes, and sitting up stably. He is a constant joy to Jeff and me. He is aware and happy and cute as can be.